ScoobyMint Disappointment for a huge fan!

Lidia Draper Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Gary The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

Guillelmina The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

eddie052010 What is the worst film ever made? That's a though question, seeing as how film is a very popular art form, as is highlighted by the amount of films there in, both in the past and present. Many of them are masterpieces, while many others are total garbage that no-one should ever see. With so many bad films out there, it can be quite hard to fully determine an answer to that question. However, while many films are rubbish and entertaining, others are just flat out rubbish and boring. This leads many to another complex question: what is the dullest film ever made? Sure, while there are many bad films out there, most of them aren't dull, and even some good movies can be accused of being dull, so it is also a hard question to answer. However, I think that this film is the answer to that question. 44 Inch Chest, a barely-seen low budget British gangster film form 2010, is (in my opinion at least) while not the worst film ever made, it is surely the absolute dullest.Firstly, let's discuss the plot. Colin, a Cockney gangster gets heartbroken after his wife leaves him in favour of another man. In retaliation, his gangster friends kidnap the guy and take him to Colin, as he decides what to do with him, whether that would be forgiving him or killing him. That's the entire plot of the movie. While I don't mind a film having a simple plot, the plot here is very simple to the point of non-existence and the film's achingly slow pace don't help matters, especially with the filler they put in to pad out the length, which is mainly highlighted when Colin's friends discuss another film (Samson and Delilah by Cecil B Demille) in parallel to the situation taking place as well as bringing back the wife character during the film who does barely anything to advance the plot.I said earlier that the film was the dullest film ever. The main reason for that is it's slow pace, and that for the whole running time, nothing seems to happen in the film. There is barely any character development, many of the events in the story seem inconsequential and the film stops rather than ends, meaning that we never know what happened to the main character and whether his actions throughout the film have made him a better person or if he is as still as psychotic as he was before.It doesn't help matters that Colin is very unlikeable. Now, I understand that his character was cheated on, which is something I can sympathize with. What I don't sympathize with however is that Colin is a raving lunatic who brutally attacks his wife for infidelity (even going as far as to chuck her out of the window of their house) and due to his weird outbursts throughout the film, clearly seems to have some sort of psychotic disorder and is very unpredictable, which implies that he has acted similarly to his wife previously, which gives her more than enough justification for cheating on him. None of the other characters are much better. I know this film has an ensemble cast of Britain's best actors, and I should be mad that the film would waste a cast like this, but to be honest there are so many other problems with this heap of manure that the waste of these actors is the least of it's problems. It doesn't help that many of them are given nothing to do, as Tom Wilkinson, Ian Mcshane and Joanne Whalley give good performances despite having nothing to work with. The worst offender surprisingly is John Hurt, as his character is really annoying and the fact that he swears a lot doesn't help.That's another thing that's wrong with this trash, the excessive cussing. I'm not a prude, but the amount of f and c bombs is embarrassing, as they do it very often and it goes really extreme at some points, and it has the mentality of a young kid swearing in order to impress the big boys. I'm sorry, saying the c word for the 20th time won't stop your audience from passing out into a coma. Seriously, this script feels like it was written by 12 year olds who loved Reservoir Dogs and wanted to make a Kubrick version of it.Yes that is what this movie is setting out to do: make Reservoir Dogs if made by Kubrick. Despite how awful that already sounds, the result is far worse, as unlike Reservoir Dogs, there is no tension, laughs or fun due to the achingly slow pace and how the "revenge" part of the plot doesn't begin until an hour in. There is also no revenge in the film, as Colin doesn't do anything to the man who slept with his wife, despite the fact that she was beaten up pretty badly for infidelity. Sure it succeeds in very Kubrickian and there is great cinematography but that also means a slow pace which kills any sort of excitement that you might have. There are honestly many pointless parts here, and you can skip them without missing any plot, especially the Samson and Delilah footage, which does make me think that I could be watching that instead of this garbage. Overall, this is just dull rubbish. The pace is achingly slow, the characters are uninteresting, and there is no resolution to the weak plot that is padded out to get to 90 minutes. The fact that such a great cast is wasted is the least of it's crimes. Stay far far away from this. This is by far the dullest film ever made, and not in a good way.

Leofwine_draca I, along with most viewers, really enjoyed the laugh-out-loud madness of SEXY BEAST, the previous Cockney gangster film starring Ray Winstone and written by Louis Mellis and David Scinto. When I read about this follow-up, it looked like the same team were ready to tackle a RESERVOIR DOGS style storyline. I was up for it, but it turns out the writers weren't.44 INCH CHEST has possibly the most boring and convoluted plot I can remember watching. It takes ages, and a lot of effort on the part of the actors, to get everyone together into a single setting, building tension with the question - will Ray torture and kill the guy strapped to a chair, the guy who's been conducting an affair with his wife? The film had everything going for it. Winstone in an emotional role, Ian McShane and John Hurt playing to type. Then what happens? It all falls apart. The interesting cast members are made to go and sit outside a door for the rest of the film's duration. It sounds like I'm kidding, but I'm not. So little then happens, the film is reduced to flashbacks and infuriating fantasy sequences that develop nothing of the story.Having watched this, I'm afraid to say it looks like SEXY BEAST was nothing more than a fluke and the writers one-hit wonders.

dunmore_ego "'Cause I'm a man, I got my pride, Don't need no woman to hurt me inside. I need love, like any other - So go on and leave me! Leave me for another!" --Good Lovin' Gone Bad, Bad Company.I think 44 INCH CHEST is trying to set some kind of record for saying the c-word. That's why I love it so. It's British. It's brutish. It's c-word-ish.Busting at the gray-skied seams with testosterone, 44 INCH CHEST is as blackly humorous and yet as feverishly dramatic as only a cockney London thrasher could be. It's about honor, loyalty, fidelity and flesh-tearing revenge. It's about the measure of Manhood. How far would you go to prove your measure?The formidable Ray Winstone stars as Colin Diamond, a principled, loving husband and father, who has just lost his wife, Liz (Joanne Whalley) to another man. Movie opens with Colin lying seemingly dead on the floor of his self-wrecked house, while Nilsson's "Without You" flutters on the soundtrack. Shattered, almost unable to speak coherently, let alone make life-changing decisions, Colin gathers four friends in a ramshackle rendezvous den to work through his pain - and to decide how to kill the man who stole his wife; the man who is even now locked in a cupboard before them, an armoire, a "44 inch chest," if you will. John Hurt, as cockney vicious as a starving pitbull, is cantankerous Old Man Peanut, who just wants blood - and to keep his arse away from suave-gay Meredith, played by Ian McShane with pimp swagger and cynical detachment; Tom Wilkinson is amiable, pragmatic Archie, who still lives with his mum; and Stephen Dillane is Mal, the impetuous muscle, "Let's kill 'im now - just give me the word, Colin!" The amazing thing about this movie that reads like a stage play is that none of the characters have backstories! They just appear in this room, driving their brutal dialog down Tasty Street, and we surmise they are gangsters, but they could very well be just a bunch of schoolmates. The way they stand up for their wronged compatriot could be applied to any profession; it is simply what Real Men would do under the circumstances. They never question why they are there and none of them is impatient to leave for other pressing appointments; we know innately they would follow Colin into hell. We see the capture of "Loverboy" (Melvil Poupaud) from his waitering day job - Mal headlocking him into a van while distressed patrons look on. They eventually drag him out of the cupboard, bloodied and beaten, and plant him on a chair where they berate him and threaten him, awaiting Colin's ultimate decision. As the story delves via flashback into Colin's harried night, his wife's confession and his decidedly unmanly reaction - he bashed the name of her French lover out of her - the bloodlust of the friends is stoked, and we seem to be tilting toward hell after all. Revenge will be sweet. As the night wears on and Colin enters into fantasy scenes in his head (which include his wife appearing and tending to Loverboy, while his friends size her up in front of him, swapping roles, accusing, bantering, badgering), we realize that each of the friends is a different facet of Colin's personality (the bellicose, impatient Old Prick, the boastful, cocky Muscle, the stalwart Good Friend and the personality that is completely insular, removed from the world of women - the Gaylord) and that they "complete" him - but not in a good way, as their constant profane, baleful repartee serves to confuse him all the more. We realize also that Colin seeing his wife touching Loverboy's wounds so intimately (as Peanut says, "They might as well be doing it right in front of him!") is his mind trying to purge itself of that image, of the pain of knowing this went on behind his back... forgiveness may just be sweeter. Eventually, after gripping monologues, morbidly humorous asides, and swearing the likes your drill sergeant wouldn't believe, with the aid of his friends and his fantasies (some might call it "therapy") barrel-chested Colin goes further than he has ever gone before, to make a decision that proves the true measure of his manhood...

lupineursus I don't usually bother to write anything as it is either redundant or pointless, or I think it will impact no-one. I suffice to give points alone. This was a superbly done film. The acting was impeccable and the writing unusually well put together. One reason I think it did not do so well is that people have not had these experiences in their life yet, or if they have it is too painful to face. It hit home at a variety of levels and made my wife and I go over our own lives. I was riveted during the whole film and the ending could have gone any way. It took place basically all in one room. It would have made a great play if it hasn't or hadn't already. I have not checked yet. Yes. there was lots of profanity, but it went with the emotions evoked during the film. Bravo, for a film well done.