nick1091
Finally, after years of watching hundreds of movies, I'm happy to now have one movie to point to as the worst I've ever seen. Don't get me wrong, there are movies with worse direction, production, writing, and acting, but none that tied everything up in a perfect little bow of crap.The plot: A college student who is going prematurely bald is failing out of college, so he needs $50,000 to bribe the dean to change his grades. So his stoner buddy, who has made several videos popular around campus, starts with him on a porn website. Girls flock to them for jobs, and the site is wildly successful and they make millions. A commercial comes on TV which the parents of the girls see, and they go to campus for revenge, and receive their comeuppance.Now just a few things about this so-called "film":-The main character is obsessed with his receeding hairline, which everyone laughs at, but never once does it cross his mind to put a hat on. -The movie's got all of the token characters (token Black guy, token gay guy, token chubby guy looking to belong, etc.) but gives none of them anything funny to say or do. -How exactly would he know the dean will fix his grades for 50 grand? Why wouldn't he just bribe the professor of the class he's failing (which I assume would cost him a lot less)? -The stoner buddy is famous for his wildly popular videos, yet we never see footage from any of them, and don't even have any idea why people like them. -The main character has an internal monologue occasionally, which plays out on screen so you have two characters just staring at each other for about half a minute while he spits out some unfunny garbage in his head. -The stoner buddy says with confidence that he's found that guys will pay $2,500 on the Internet to watch a naked girl. Yeah. -They go through the paces of the pedestrian plot at breakneck speed, probably because they have no original thoughts or funny ideas you have to slow down for. This results in the whole "parents show up for revenge" story to play out over a half hour, when really it should've taken 5 minutes.It's a dumb college T&A comedy which isn't even dumb enough, nor does it have enough T&A to even be watchable. I never thought I'd see the movie that makes Bikini Carwash Company look like Citizen Kane.
richard_espinor
I am neither a teen-age boy or a young man in my 20s; I am 61 years old and I do like certain kinds of low budget films. Some Movies by Roger Corman I do like and I have seen certain low budget films during the 1960s when I was a teen-ager and certain exploitation films in the 1970s when I was in my 20s. I think the producers should have titled this movie More Women and More Women or I'm a young guy and I need women or maybe I Can't stop thinking about women. The movies I saw as a teen-ager in the 1960s or as a young man in the 1970s were about having sexual relations with a woman, yet I thought some of those films were funny. Maybe being a 61 year old man I have lost what it is like to be a young man and always thinking about women. I do like women and I like having sexual fun with women, yet maybe what I think is funny is different from what a young 20something man thinks is funny in 2009? The basic story line is about a young man who is losing his hair and believes everyone at the college he attends is laughing at his hair loss. The main character in the story receives help from his marijuana smoking friend; they create a porn internet web site and recruit young women to do sexual activities on they porn web page. The parents of the daughters find out about it and decide to go after the young marijuana smoker. The marijuana smoker influences the parents with his marijuana smoke and gives a speech to the parents about why they(the parents)should be glad that their daughters made money and are millionaires. Actress Sally Kirkland(who is 60something)plays the mother who gives young actor Jonathan Cherry(marijuana smoker in the movie)a tongue kissing and you do see them touching tongues; would that scene be considered porn? The movie does have some funny scenes and I think teen-age boys and young 20something men would find "Bald" funny. I wonder what actress Sally Kirkland thought when she saw on the script that she would have to really be tongue kissing actor Jonathan Cherry?
