TrueJoshNight Truly Dreadful Film

WillSushyMedia This movie was so-so. It had it's moments, but wasn't the greatest.

BelSports This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

mraculeated The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Red-Barracuda B-movie producers Crown International Pictures seemed to churn out a lot of comedies in the 80's. The majority of them, I have discovered to my cost, are decidedly under par. Like most, Cave Girl has a title and cover that suggests it might be decent fun at the very least but in practice this is yet another laugh-free zone from good old Crown. It tells the story of a nerdy anthropology student called Rex who touches a coloured rock while out on a field trip and is somehow or other subsequently sent back in time to the prehistoric era. Almost immediately he meets cute cave girl and then more stuff happens.You would think that an 80's time-travelling teen-comedy would at the very least have a few ideas up its sleeve. Well, you'd be wrong in this case as despite the potential in the set-up, all this one more or less boils down to is our protagonist trying to teach the cave girl English in order to facilitate having sex with her. It should be said at this point that Rex is a notably irritating central character who, despite being offered to us as the sympathetic underdog, came across little more than a sex pest. Not only that but in spite of his character being a high school student, the actor that played him looked like he was pushing forty. Needless to say, the antics of this individual are somewhat alienating and don't generate anything approaching empathy.The film itself is a half-hearted sex comedy at best, with an early scene in a girl's locker room that did at least provide boobs which is never exactly ever going to be a bad production value. But really, the nudity is in short supply here overall and you really have to get into its humour and set-up to have any chance of appreciating it. Unfortunately, the comedy is really bad, resorting to a fart joke and an interminable sequence involving shaving cream. The prehistoric set-up is the only thing that really provides any interest but even that is pretty underwhelming on the whole, with boring cave people and little in the way of much else, aside from an encounter with a tribe of cannibals, which did enliven things a bit I have to say, although even that wasn't exactly very interesting. For a prehistoric comedy, you'd really be better off watching the cult movie Eegah (1962) or even the more recent California Man (1992); neither of those are exactly stellar stuff but both are marginally better than Cave Girl.

Scott LeBrun In his first leading role, actor Daniel Roebuck ("River's Edge", "The Fugitive") plays Rex, a geeky high school student who's constantly being mocked and made a victim of pranks. He and his science class go on a field trip to visit caves and check out the primitive paintings. Due to some sort of miracle involving jet plane tests and a weird crystal inside the cave, Rex is magically transported back to caveman times. Here he meets the girl of his dreams, the sweet, bubbly and naive blonde Eba (Cynthia Thompson). He then makes it his mission to try to seduce this prehistoric babe."Cavegirl" isn't anything great. At its best, it's just sort of mildly funny and engaging. Sometimes it's also silly and tiresome. But there are decent lowbrow laughs to be had as the cave people have their misadventures. The actors give enthusiastic performances, and there is a certain degree of trash on hand to please fans of the 1980s Crown International catalogue. Specifically, there's a respectable amount of bare breasts, particularly during an early girls' locker room scene. Jon St. James's deliberately dopey music score is another source of amusement. Roebuck is good (and a good sport when it comes to being the butt of jokes), but it's the charming and absolutely lovely Ms. Thompson (who sadly died much too young) who is the main reason to watch. You won't be able to take your eyes off of her, and she's enormously appealing, to boot.There is some well executed aerial photography to begin the movie, and unlike most Crown International productions, almost all of the credits are saved for the final few minutes. Writer / producer / director / cinematographer David Oliver looked like he was working with a pretty low budget, but his movie hits the ground running and clocks in at a fairly painless 82 minutes.Six out of 10.

Lt_Coffey_182 This movie really is the pits and is deservedly shown on 'Bad Movie Night' and other film channels of a similar ilk. What was David Oliver thinking when he constructed this mess? Judging by how much he contributed towards the production of this film, I think he wanted to be the next Orson Welles but he's more like the next Ed Wood! Luckily, Oliver realised the errors of his ways and quit the film business.The plot had potential at some point. When you think about California Man and how funny some of the cultural clash jokes in that were, this could have been an inverted alternative. Alas, this was not the case and sadly the audience are subjected to an awful, bumbling romance between Roebuck and Thompson whilst the other cave people, mildly amusing at first, simply get really tiresome. I have to admit, Cavegirl did, unintentionally, have me laughing at some points at how bad everything was and how the plot went from bad to worst but this is not good comedy! Time travel is such an imaginative and brilliant concept when done well (see Back to the Future and Terminator) but Cavegirl is embarrassing and lacks any excitement.The acting is laughable. Roebuck and Thompson have the only two proper roles and both are awful. Thompson is OK before she starts learning English but then she gets very bad, very quickly. This was her only starring role and was subsequently relegated to playing #2 hooker in her final film before quiting. Roebuck is remarkably even worse, yet, somehow has carved out a fairly respectable career for himself. When he got blown up in Lost, I think that was redemption for this turkey! His performance is charmless and devoid of any talent.The worst film I have ever seen and the only film I've seen that has no redeeming features whatsoever, avoid Cavegirl at all costs unless you are a bad movie fan or there's a big group of people who can all join in on the mockery.

Wilbur-10 This is a woefully unfunny film, with none of the 'so-bad-it's-entertaining' elements which similar films sometimes provide.Story follows Rex, a geeky high-school student ( who looks far too old ) who is an incredibly annoying character, totally without charm. On a field trip he manages to find some kind of crystal which transports him back to the stone-age. Here he meets and falls in love with a pre-Baywatch, tanned, buxom, curly blonde-haired Charlie's Angel in a bikini.I almost invariably find something to like in these 1980's teen comedies, but 'Cave Girl' is dire from start to finish. The attempts at humour are clumsy failures, usually revolving around Rex nervously trying to introduce Eba to the delights of pre-adolescent fumbling. The other prehistoric people are a bunch of grunting, idiotic, down-and-outs with straggly hair and fur waistcoats. They only serve to pad out the narrative which runs out of ideas after 20 minutes and wanders aimlessly around until things stagger to a faltering conclusion.When a fart joke and a sight-gag featuring blowing up a condom, provoke not the slightest response you know its not looking good. Just when things seem to have reached their lowest, new depths are plunged into with a dire love song on the soundtrack, as Rex loses Eba and wanders around forlornly trying to find her.This really is rubbish - the only features with any merit are the video cover featuring the scantily clad Eba posing with a club over her shoulder; the early scene when Rex goes into the wrong changing rooms and is chased out by a group of topless girls; and the brief couple of seconds when Eba finally gets her 'thrupenny bits' out.Rex makes an immediate entry into my hit-list of the most irritating characters in film.