Teringer An Exercise In Nonsense

Doomtomylo a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

Guillelmina The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

Janis One of the most extraordinary films you will see this year. Take that as you want.

Leofwine_draca CELLULAR is one of those vapid Hollywood thrillers that think they're far cleverer than they actually are. It's one of those films screaming 'look at me, look at me!' while hitting you over the head with the 'cool' plot at the same time. This kind of gimmicky marketing stuff leaves me cold, and for the record, I much preferred PHONE BOOTH, which follows a similar premise while adding a ton more suspense and tension. CELLULAR, despite script input from genre favourite Larry Cohen, never really gels with the viewer, following well-worn genre conventions with a sometimes wearying routine touch.The script is also uneven. It's as if the writers knew that the kidnap plot was hackneyed and unbelievable, and so instead focused on the so-called 'comic' scenes: most of these involving the intensely irritating Chris Evans, who has yet to give a mature performance. Basinger, who is star billed, actually has a supporting role here, and a somewhat minor one at that. Much of the film focuses on Evans driving around and unbelievably outwitting a gang of bad guy cops. There's some cynical product placement here, along with the lowbrow humour and some frankly annoying performances (Macy is usually all right in films, but I found him as irritating as Evans in this). Statham does a wide-eyed hard man with little effort and Biel is there for bikini scenes.In the end, it's all rather bland, despite efforts at style and a super-fast pacing. Goes to show you can't have everything.

juneebuggy This was a pretty good thriller, it starts out kinda cheesy but (Kim Basinger) gets herself kidnapped almost immediately so that the action starts within the first 5 minutes and never lets up. The plot is simple and there's nothing really remarkable here but still a solidly entertaining movie.The cast was decent too with Kim Basinger as a science teacher who reaches out on a damaged phone after being kidnapped. She does as a great job of looking scared and shaky throughout even if her dialogue gets a bit stilted at times as she was obviously doing voice-over for most of this.Chris Evans is the voice on the other end of the phone who at first doesn't believe her and then as the movie progresses finds himself running all over Las Angeles to help her and her son. Some decent action scenes there. Jason Statham was a surprise face here and this must have been made before he got top billing as he just plays Thug #1 and there aren't any fight scenes from him.I really enjoyed William H Macy (as I always do) he plays the good cop and his story was on the comical side of things; with a cool moustache he dreams of opening up a day spa with his wife, sampling mud masks and ultimately kicking ass. 8/17/15

Tweekums In the opening scenes of this thriller a group of heavies break into Jessica Martin's house, shoot the maid then kidnap her. They take her to another location and lock her in a room, the group's leader smashes the wall mounted telephone with a sledgehammer. They demand that she gives them what they are after but she has no idea what they are talking about. Jessica then tries desperately to get a connection with the shattered phone; eventually she connects to Ryan, a total stranger, who understandably believes it is a hoax but eventually agrees to take the cell phone to the police. He gives the basics of the story to desk sergeant Mooney before he is called away. Mooney tells him to take his report to homicide but before he can he hears the kidnappers threatening Jessica; now he knows in is no hoax; they threaten to harm her son so once alone again she asks Ryan to get to his school first. He is just too late and gives chase. What follows is a series of events that involve Ryan trying desperately to keep Jessica on the line as first the battery nearly dies then he gets a crossed line with another cell phone user. Each time it looks as if he is getting somewhere the bad guys are just a step ahead until Ryan gets his hands on what they were after. Meanwhile Sgt Mooney decides to follow up the kidnapping report and makes a shocking discovery about the kidnappers.If you are looking for serious drama then you are in for a disappointment but if you just want to put your brain in neutral for ninety minutes you could do a lot worse than this. The action starts in dramatic style and barely lets up until the closing credits begin. The plot is pretty far-fetched so requires a good ability to suspend ones disbelief… what are the odds that a random connection would link to a cell phone that happened to be in the same city as you?! That is just the first unlikely event… thankfully before one has much time to worry about it the action begins; this is pretty exciting and at times genuinely tense. There is also a fair amount of unforced humour; the best of this when Ryan steels a lawyer's shiny blue Porsche… twice! The cast does a solid enough job; Chris Evans is likable as the apparently unreliable Ryan, Kim Basinger does a decent job as Jessica, William H. Macy is good in the role of Sgt Mooney and Jason Statham is suitably menacing as the main villain of the story. There is a nice twist involving the identity and motivation of the kidnappers that I won't spoil even though it doesn't come all that late in the film. Overall I'd certainly recommend this to anybody wanting a not-too-serious action film; it was definitely better than I'd expected.

aaronh3716 It's rare when I movie is so bad that I don't watch the entire thing. I realize there has to be some level of stupidity on the part of some characters to make a situation last long enough to be a movie rather than a clip. However the first twenty minutes of Cellular proved that not only were all the characters stupid in behavior, the acting was horrible, there were way too many convenient consequences for the character Ryan, and too many unbelievable situations (anyone in southern California will tell you how rare it is to find a parking spot right in front of every building you go to!) Although I didn't watch the entire movie I seriously doubt if it could have morphed into something remotely enjoyable or entertaining in it's last 75 minutes. I do believe it would be a perfect choice for the peanut gallery wisecracks of MST 3000.