Tuchergson Truly the worst movie I've ever seen in a theater

YouHeart I gave it a 7.5 out of 10

LouHomey From my favorite movies..

PiraBit if their story seems completely bonkers, almost like a feverish work of fiction, you ain't heard nothing yet.

Leofwine_draca COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN is one of those painful Italian attempts at comedy, made during a time when Bob Hope/Bing Crosby films were the height of fashion, slapstick was considered the pinnacle of humour and sexism was...well, everywhere. While I really wanted to like this movie, I couldn't, and one of the reasons was the absolutely awful American dubbing that makes the whole film irritating (at one point, one of the men refers to the fact that he's a Greek before speaking in a Southern drawl!). It doesn't help that this film has no plot after the first fifteen minutes. A bunch of guys are taken to a remote island where they become the slaves of a female warrior society. Some escape and recaptured, others are put to work mining. There's time for romance, a few fights and lots of the so-called 'comedy'. If seeing somebody trip over on their face is your idea of a belly-laugh then by all means check this out.I half-wondered whether they'd dubbed a serious film into a comedy but the silly acting from the entire cast rules this out. Aside from Rod Taylor and Ed Fury, the two leads, the male cast members are frankly embarrassing. Fury, known for his appearance in the Ursus films, is a stereotypical muscleman, a nice-but-dim hulk who picks up pillars and does strongman stuff every now and then. Taylor supplies more of the comic relief, but this is a huge comedown from the guy who was so great in THE TIME MACHINE. The female cast, aside from Gianna Maria Canale and Dorian Gray, aren't great actresses but they're certainly easy on the eye, so if watching plenty of beautiful women in skin-tight costumes sounds good, then go for it. One thing that made me sad was the realisation that by Hollywood standards of today, all these women would be classed as 'fat' because of their curves. Bring back the old days! I'll admit that the film held my attention initially; the direction isn't as bad as some I've seen. There are some good ingredients in the plot, like the bear fight scene (watch the huge, hulking chained bear transform into a skinny buy in a bear suit!), but other moments, like the pirates vaulting over the castle walls, are ludicrous. The film is also packed with historical inaccuracies; watch as the women joust together (a medieval sport!). All said and done, COLOSSUS AND THE AMAZON QUEEN is definitely a 'bad' film, there's no denying it. Only suckers for cheesy B-movie will get a kick out of the antics on display here.

Mike_Noga Glaucus and Pirrus are two friends returning to Greece from the Trojan War. Glaucus, played by Ed Fury, is the burly muscleman, a good natured one-man army. Pirrus, played by Rod Taylor, is the smooth-talking con-artist, more a lover than a fighter.The two friends are drugged by some shifty merchants and sold to the Amazons as slaves. It doesn't take them long to ingratiate themselves to the Amazons and eventually shake up the entire Amazonian nation.I have no idea how anyone could watch this movie and NOT understand that it's a comedy. It's full of slapstick, puns, punch-lines, and one-liners. There's a crazy Egyptian inventor who adds more comic relief. The music is more often than not entirely unlike the standard peplum sound track, with everything from ragtime to jazz to cha-cha. As a matter of fact the ubiquitous harem girl dance is presented as a combination sophisticated jazz performance and a take-off on a Buzby-Berkley number. Since this takes place mostly in Amazonian society the roles of men and women are reversed and you have the men staying at home and raising the kids, cooking, doing laundry and gossiping about each other. In its own way, believe it or not, it's also, a sex comedy of sorts. (No really!)Eventually the men and women realize that they are better off living together as equals, once they team up to fend off a pirate invasion and Glaucus wrestles a bear.Anyone who has a genuine fondness for peplums would really enjoy this movie. It doesn't take itself seriously at all. Instead it pokes a little fun at the genre. It's just good natured, self-effacing fun.

wes-connors "Ed Fury stars as Glauco, the strongest man in Greece who finds himself the unwilling member of an expedition across the seas. His pal Pirro (Rod Taylor) accepts money from a band of pirates in return for Glauco's undeniable muscle. When they land, they are drugged and captured by a race of Amazons. Only Glauco escapes and falls in love with the fair Antiope. After considerable action and intrigue, the Amazons and Greeks learn to get along," according to the DVD sleeve's synopsis.Re-titled "Colossus and the Amazon Queen" for English language listeners, this "sword and sandal" epic benefits by not taking itself too seriously. Bulging in all the right places, Mr. Fury is a blond Adonis-like hero. While Fury strikes the correct light-hearted tone, the more accomplished co-starring Mr. Taylor seems uncertain about the sexual preference assigned his character. He acts gay, but goes for breast-popping Daniela Rocca (as Melitta) over Fury, who digs delectable Dorian Gray.***** La regina delle Amazzoni (9/8/60) Vittorio Sala ~ Ed Fury, Rod Taylor, Daniela Rocca, Dorian Gray

Steve Nyland (Squonkamatic) This movie is cool! It's kind of dumb but it is really cool. Like, there are these dudes, and they are like, Gladiators & stuff?? And they go on a boat somewhere, I don't know where, and it like, crashes & stuff. The guys all find themselves stranded on this island, you know, and it's like BABE CITY!! There are only hot Italian B-actresses on the whole island, and they all dress like the sluts in CALIGULA only nobody gets cut in half or has Macolm McDowall put his ring where the sun don't shine on them. I like all female society movies, especially when they are populated by creamy, olive skinned, sharp nosed and firm bosomed Italian actresses who's voices are dubbed into English. So I consider myself lucky: I hope someday you get to find a movie that looks like it was pretty much made with you in mind.So like, these Gladiator dudes are kind of funny. They have all these heroic missions and are all like, former soldiers or something who treat each other like they are closer than brothers. And they all dress like Freddy Mercury from that Queen tour after NEWS OF THE WORLD, which was such a cool album. But what I mean is that, like, they all run around in tights and leather tunics, have big spears and big muscles and always look sweaty or oiled, yet not one of them is gay. Not even by a long shot. The movie is even kind of a silly comedy at times with wacky noise effects and a talking parrot, but there isn't any of the stuff that Oliver Stone found so necessary. And everywhere you look, BABES!!And what babes they are. Jessica Simpson and Scarlett Johanssen and Natalie Portman are like, twits from the underclass study hall compared to the graceful, full figured 1960 era knockouts populating this very sexist and male oriented entertainment. The women throw themselves at these guys, sometimes quite literally, and since there are only about eight of them and a whole island full of these women I would expect that we'd see a working example of that male to female ratio thing that Peter Sellers talked about in DR. STRANGELOVE about needing women with exceedingly attractive characteristics, which sort of makes sense if you hope to re-populate the world with the President and maybe the guys who run Haliburton. Maybe this is where they got their inspiration for Strangelove's speech. Because with an estimated female to male ratio of about 35 to 1 -- and all of them hot -- these Gladiators had better not be gay, or else there are going to be a lot of unhappy faces in the morning.Look for this movie on a 50 Movie/12 DVD box set from Treeline Films called SCI FI CLASSICS: It's a mucky fullframe English print that looks like someone used it to hang their laundry on before the video transfer was done, but it beats the hell out of anything that's been released this year in the theaters so far, and there are what, 48 more to go??7/10