Steineded How sad is this?

Quiet Muffin This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

Deanna There are moments in this movie where the great movie it could've been peek out... They're fleeting, here, but they're worth savoring, and they happen often enough to make it worth your while.

Francene Odetta It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

mrogers-88750 Watched this for about 15 minutes and turned it off, in short this is a porn movie for little old ladies and girls

rdoyle29 Well ... on the good side, this is a suitably R-rated Conan, with quite a bit of gore and a bit of mild nudity. That's all appropriate to Robert E. Howard's vision. On the bad side, this in an intensely, crushingly dull film, and that's probably not what Howard had in mind. This film is a blur of action, quick edits, CGI and cardboard characters. It had numbed my brain into abandoning all attempts at attention after about 20 minutes. Some interesting actors like Ron Perlman and Stephen Lang get lost in the brouhaha. Jason Momoa is on the other hand resoundingly forgettable.

Jackson Booth-Millard The original 1982 version, with Arnold Schwarzenegger (before becoming a superstar in The Terminator), is a cult classic, although I personally don't think it's very good, or its sequel Conan the Destroyer, so I didn't think a remake would be any better, directed by Marcus Nispel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003), Friday the 13th (2009)). Basically warlord Khalar Zym (Don't Breathe's Stephen Lang) wishes to reunite the pieces of the Mask of Acheron, crafted by a group of sorcerers and used to subjugate the world, to revive his dead wife and conquer Hyboria, the pieces were scattered among the barbarian tribes. Young Conan (Leo Howard) is the son of Corin (Ron Perlman), chief of a barbarian tribe, he is skilled, but his father believes he is not ready to wield his own sword, the entire village are murdered by the forces of Zym, after Corin's piece of the mask is located, Conan and Corin are chained and trapped under a vat of molten metal, but Corin sacrifices himself to allow Conan to escape, Conan is the only survivor of the attack and vows revenge. Years later, the warrior Conan (Game of Thrones' Jason Momoa) is a pirate, he finds a slavery colony, the slaves are freed when his tribe kill the handlers. While celebrating in a tavern in the city of Messantia, Conan recognises Lucius (Steven O'Donnell), one of Zym's soldiers from years before, he cut off his nose when he was younger, Conan forces Lucius to tell him where Khalar Zym is. Meanwhile Khalar Zym attacks a monastery the sorceress Marique (Scream's Rose McGowan) believes that a pure-blood descent of Acheron lives, but elderly monk Fassir (Raad Rawi) warned Tamara (Rachel Nichols), of a bloodline of Acheronian necromancers, to run away and return to her homeland. Tamara is chased by Khalar Zym's soldiers, but Conan saves her, he realises that using Tamar may be the only way to reach the evil Khalar Zym, but also to save the great nations of Hyboria from an encroaching reign of supernatural evil. Also starring Saïd Taghmaoui as Ela-Shan, Bob Sapp as Ukafa and Milton Welsh as Remo, with narration from Morgan Freeman. Momoa is no substitute for Schwarzenneger, Lang and McGowan are fairly good villains, and Perlman does steal the show in the short time he is on for, this version may have more advanced special effects that look fantastic, and slightly more gore and aggressive fights, but it doesn't have any humour or charm, it is definitely more style over substance, a very average and barely memorable sword-and-sorcery fantasy adventure. Adequate!

TreeOfWolf I couldn't watch the whole movie, but I doubt it got better.I watched the 1982 version before watching it. Conan became a slave who was forced to be barbaric to survive, but then had the chance to discover the value of his own freedom, friendship... and love. Falling for a woman who helped him fight, as an equal, for revenge and everyone's justice at the same time. She ends up sacrificing herself to save him when he was helpless.The new version is completely different. It shows an arrogant guy who uses the word "woman" in a derogatory way, calling her his property and bossing her around. When she says that she doesn't have to obey him just because he's a man... he freaking gags her! That's where I stopped watching the movie. She had the dignity and courage to stand up for herself, and he wouldn't even listen, forcefully, with no respect whatsoever. That's a horrible message to give the new generation of women and men.I am ashamed that the women rights actually got worse 30 years later! Women are born to live their life, not to serve a man's life. Men shouldn't stay helpless babies needing a mommy to serve them all their lives.No amount of amusing gore can make up for this disaster. I like slasher movies with psychopaths killing sluts and I laugh while they scream. But I couldn't stand watching this respectable woman be degraded. The psychological violence was so nasty that it felt worse than murder. Weird but true. I can understand a psychopath's madness... but trying to make abusing women seem like a normal manly thing to do... it repulsed me.The story is so different that it shouldn't be called the same way, but the film makers probably tried to use the old one's fame to seem more interesting than they tried to be. Lame trick. The old movie had more depth in silent stares than anything that came out of the new Conan's mouth.Stick with the Arnold version. Terminate this horrible remake.Old crap is way better than this new crap.I guess that if you're a misogynist, you won't see anything wrong with this movie.Otherwise, don't bother.