Stometer Save your money for something good and enjoyable

filippaberry84 I think this is a new genre that they're all sort of working their way through it and haven't got all the kinks worked out yet but it's a genre that works for me.

Lela The tone of this movie is interesting -- the stakes are both dramatic and high, but it's balanced with a lot of fun, tongue and cheek dialogue.

Brooklynn There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

tbills2 This epic, sprawling medieval adventure starring Rutger Hauer and Jennifer Jason Leigh is like a one of a kind, terrific, brutal, and audacious warmhearted tale with warranted flesh and blood. Jennifer Jason Leigh is as sweet, as pretty, as gorgeous as they come. Hauer and Leigh give epic+sprawling portrayals! I really love Jennifer's epic sprawl in Flesh+Blood! A 6.9! I love this movie. An 8 in my book. JJL is like a sweet feast! I love her. She's got the goods.

avizvitoria I little background here before anything: I watched this movie due to the writer of the manga "Berserk" claiming that it inspired him, and i love Berserk, so by no means i hate a piece of media just because it has a rape scene on it, Berserk has plenty of it.I came into this movie expecting something similar, but in a realistic setting, boy i was in for a surprise.This movie is absolute garbage.Here is the main problem with it: It is painted as a realistic, dark and overly gritty representation of high middle ages "camp follower" culture but instead it quickly devolves into a myriad of cliches, situations that just flat out don't make any logical sense with a good dose of uncomfortable abuse porn.Boy, here do i begin with the plot wholes of these last 2 hours of my life i just wasted ?How Agnes goes from a spoiled brat that tell her maid to have sex with a guard just to see how sex looks like to a back-stabbing whore that knows to manipulate the leader of her captors with her body in the span of 15 minutes ?Why a bunch of greedy mercenaries decide to gang rape Agnes, the daughter of an aristocrat, instead of making even more money ?How said group of mercenaries manage to elude an whole cavalry battalion on their get way in 3 wagons FULL WITH THE LOOT OF AN ENTIRE CITY AND A FREAKING STATUE IN IT ?How 10 people manage to capture a castle by themselves ?Why Agnes already enjoys the company of the people that were abusing her not 10 minutes ago by the time they captured the castle ?Why is Steven even willing to negotiate with these people ?Why Steven builds such a ridiculous and overly complicated siege machine instead of telling his man to hack at the simple wooden gate with axes ?Why is this machine even in a movie that is supposed to be dark and serious ? That entire scene was downright comical.Why is Steve assaulting a castle defended by 10 people with 5 people ? Couldn't we have cut one of the 20 sex scenes on this stupid movie and payed some more extras here director ?Why 3 soldiers and 2 drunk whores are capable of "finishing off" the remaning soldiers ?Why Steven's army is so terrible at anything it does ?After Martin is blamed for their situation with the plague and throw down a well, why is Agnes simply accepted by the others ? Why aren't they angry at her as well ?After all that happened, why on earth Steven trusts Martin and saved him from the well ?LIGHTENING DOES NOT BREAK IRON CHAINS !!!Why was Steven circling his chain around the tree for anyway ? Did he thought "Hey, i am going to place his chain around this tree in chase a lightening hit it, that will free me !" ?How is it possible that the badly wounded Steven is the first to enter the castle and fight both the cardinal and Martin ? What the hell is the entire cavalry from the previous scene doing ? Watching the scene unfold from the courtyard ?Why he manufactures a rocket powered spear with one functioning hand, a cut leg and not to mention, the lightening ?Why everything this character does has to be "sciency" is some way ? The dude is a walking cliche.Why Martin tries to kill Agnes instead of using her as hostage ?Why Agnes even ends up having any loyalty to Martin at all or even to Steven for that matter, how comes this women fell in love with two man, one of which after a 10 minute conversation beside two rotting corpses and the other the rapist that took her virginity ?I fell like i could write a book on how bad this movie is, i am really have no explanation how anyone think this is a good movie other than, well, they like torture porn, because this entire movie is a freaking torture section on both its characters and its audience.For a movie about mercenaries, i couldn't really point to a single good fighting scene and that was another major letdown, almost all violence in the movie is done by someone that is armed towards a completely helpless person.if you are thinking of watching this, take it from me, just go watch a porn movie, half of them have plots that make more logical sense than this.Better sex scenes too.

Harold Boss Just stumbled upon this and was sure glad I did. The female lead is remarkable, loose, sexy, up for anything, willing to love two rival guys in a time of bloodshed. Completely unique, I can't think of any other movie where the young woman is so up for nastiness. Also I have to say the acting is way above par, all the bandits are nicely fleshed out. Great stuff.My criticisms: The lightning scene feels like an act of god, but nobody seems to remark on it. Lighting would most likely hit the highest point of the castle - if it somehow hit the tree inside surely it wouldn't cause the chain to break like that, wouldn't it earth directly? This scene didn't work well, it would have made more sense for the hero to escape through some McGyver-type ingenuity.More obviously - the bubonic plague never killed anyone within hours as it does here. The plague took days to kill people. The plague was however transmitted through blood, eating meat etc (they got that correct)(bacterial disease). The lumps that appeared should have been on the lymph nodes (ie the groin).Why did the disease take a long time with the Jack Thompson character? How come Rutger Hauer never contracted the plague despite swimming in the contaminated water?Wouldn't have taken much to fix up those problems in the script.

hall895 It's 1501 and somewhere in Europe a city has been taken in a coup. Its rightful ruler Arnolfini hires some mercenaries to lead a siege to take it back. They do just that. Their commander Hawkwood unfortunately almost hacked some nun's head off during the siege and is now overcome with guilt. Watch where you swing that sword buddy. Anyhow the devious Arnolfini promises to provide medical care for the nun with the hole in her head if Hawkwood will turn on his men and assist in expelling them from the city, denying them the looting opportunities they had been promised. Cue sad faces from the mercenaries as they wander the countryside.The mercenaries now follow their new leader, Martin. He's the leader because he found a statue of Saint Martin while he was digging a grave for his stillborn son. Seriously. Meanwhile back in the city Arnolfini has arranged a marriage for his son Steven and his well-styled 1980s hair to some young heiress. Steven is not interested, perhaps because he worries the girl will have nicer hair than him. But the two would-be lovers meet and after eating a magic root they find under a hanging, rotting corpse they fall in love. Seriously. Oh by the way, this young girl, Agnes, is clueless in the ways of love so she has just had her maid and some random dude physically demonstrate for her how to have sex. The maid is played by the voice of Bart Simpson. Seriously. Guided by the all-powerful statue of Saint Martin the mercenaries show up and sack the traveling party, making off with all the wedding loot and taking Agnes too. Cue sad face from 1980s hair boy.Sweet, virginal Agnes is brutally gang-raped by Martin and his men but doesn't seem to mind very much. She forgets Steven and falls for Martin. So innocent she didn't even know what sex was a day ago she's soon playing footsie under the table and, while having sex in a bathtub, thrashing about like some kind of medieval porn star. Fast learner this girl. Steven sets out to rescue her. Hilarity ensues. Oh wait, not hilarity. Plague. Plague ensues. Did you know you can instantly get the plague and drop dead if you take a sip of contaminated water but if you are submerged in a well full of that same water for hours you'll be just fine? Also, Steven constructs a massive, complicated war machine, the medieval equivalent of a Sherman tank, in approximately five minutes. Amidst all the nonsense is a constant stream of the worst, most laughable dialogue heard in any movie ever. Every once in a while Jennifer Jason Leigh takes her clothes off again. More nonsense happens. Then more nonsense. And more nonsense. And then the movie ends.