Hardbodies

1984 "If you don't know what they are, you don't know what you're missing."
4.9| 1h28m| R| en
Details

Three middle-aged daddies visit California to have a marvelous time at the beach. When they learn that a nice apartment and an expensive cabriolet isn't enough for them to score with the chicks, they employ a student to help them. At first he's as disgusted of them and his job as his girlfriend, but soon they find out how to use the situation to everyone's benefit.

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Reviews

AutCuddly Great movie! If you want to be entertained and have a few good laughs, see this movie. The music is also very good,
Numerootno A story that's too fascinating to pass by...
Winifred The movie is made so realistic it has a lot of that WoW feeling at the right moments and never tooo over the top. the suspense is done so well and the emotion is felt. Very well put together with the music and all.
Cody One of the best movies of the year! Incredible from the beginning to the end.
Predrag This 1984 classic exceeds all expectations - story of the quest for "Hardbodies" never takes itself too seriously and holds up just as well today as the day it was made - this movie has a lot of good laughs and one liners - also, Steve Gold should have won an Academy Award for his portrayal of "Farnsey", a scene stealing, robe wearing, toupee loving womanizer who is introduced during the film's final act. It's one of those mindless movies where boy meets girl and they fall in love, but the boy meets these older rich guys and tries to teach them how to score with younger babes! Plenty of beach bikini babes and some fun sexy love scenes. The young actors are attracted and it's just a feel good movie.The synopsis of the film is three middle aged men in mid-life crises rent a beach house and are having absolutely no success in scoring with the beautiful young women on the beach. So they acquire the help of a young stud to show them how to succeed with these hotties. But one of these guys turns into a jerk and puts the moves on the young stud's girlfriend. Eventually the jerk gets his (come)-uppance, and our hero gets his girl back. Quite a fascinating story-line, huh? The only actor of any note whatsoever in this film is goofy looking redheaded Courtney Gaines, who also starred in Children Of The Corn and Can't Buy Me Love, and had a small part in Back To The Future. Also, there's an early appearance by girl rock group, Vixen, before they grew their hair out and had some success as a metal act in the late 80's! Overall rating: 7 out of 10.
Uriah43 "Scotty" (Grant Cramer) is a young man who has a definite gift when it comes to talking to the ladies. So much so that he has recently hooked up with a great girlfriend named "Kristi" (Teal Roberts). But even so, that doesn't stop him from flirting with the opposite sex every chance he gets. It's during one of those times that his amazing abilities are observed by three middle-aged men who essentially beg him to teach them how to pick up beach babes—or what he refers to as "hardbodies". At first he declines but after being kicked out of his apartment for failing to pay rent he agrees for a set dollar amount and free room and board. What he doesn't take into consideration is just how unscrupulous one of these men actually is and the lengths he will go to in order to achieve his goals. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a decent representative of the "summer beach" sub-genre which enjoyed particular success in the early-60's before dying out a few years later and then reemerging in the late-70's and early-80's. The difference between the two eras being that the earlier films centered more on music, surfing and swimsuits whereas the latter focuses more directly on sex and partial nudity. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing as I suppose this evolution in film was probably inevitable due to the change in generations and social norms. Be that as it may, this movie contained both some light humor and several attractive ladies wearing skimpy attire to keep it mildly interesting and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Average.
Woodyanders Smarmy wannabe hipster Hunter (nicely played to the smug hilt by Gary Wood), tubby Rounder (solid Michael Rapport), and easygoing Carlton Ashby (a wonderfully amiable performance by Sorrells Pickard) are three lecherous and hopelessly square middle-aged guys who rent the most swank house on the beach. The bumbling trio hire slick and hunky beach bum stud Scotty Palmer (a very likable turn by Grant Cramer) to teach them how to score with hot young babes. Directer/co-writer Mark Griffiths relates the cheerfully goofy and naughty story at a bouncy constant pace and maintains a blithely raunchy tone throughout. Better still, this film certainly delivers what it promises: wall-to-wall tasty female nudity, gorgeous honeys aplenty in skimpy bikinis or less, a cool rockin' soundtrack (the theme song is extremely catchy and the all-girl band Vixen seriously smokes), some sizzling soft-core sex, no pretense whatsoever to get in the way of the delightfully raucous go-for-it bawdy fun, and loads of heavy-duty partying. The ladies are undeniably hot: Teal Roberts as Scotty's sweet girlfriend Kristi Kelly, Kristi Sommers as the sassy'n'spunky Michelle, Cindy Silver as the perky Kimberly, Darcy De Moss as aggressive Dede, and Crystal Shaw as the enticing, yet unavailable Candy. Courtney Gains has a ball as Scotty's funky buddy Rags and the ever-radiant Roberta Collins acquits herself well as friendly land lady Lana. Popping up in nifty bits are Kathleen Kimmont as a sexy skater, Kane "Jason" Hodder as a pesky geek, and Joyce Jameson as Rounder's overbearing mother. Tom Richmond's sparkling cinematography gives the picture an attractive sunny look and surveys all the luscious chicks with unabashedly leering aplomb. Vic Caesar's lively score keeps things humming along. Of course, this flick is absolute tacky and idiotic cheese, but it's way too energetic and good-natured in its very unapologetic stupidity to be remotely offensive. A complete hoot.
jimmy_james_86 Hardbodies, which was released in the summer of '84, came out around the same time as Ghostbusters and is similar with the latter in the respect that they are both classic films of their respective genres. This movie excels on so many different levels I don't even know where to begin. The performances of Grant Cramer as scammin'jammin' Scotty Palmer and Courtney Gains as his pothead buddy, Rag, are unforgettable. These actors bring such depth to their characters that at times the film seems to take on a documentary feel. "Are these actors, or are they real people just playing themselves," you may ask yourself while watching. Their adventure begins when three middle-aged dorks turn to Scotty for advice on how to pick up the many beach babes which inhabit the SoCal location where the story takes place. He gives them the helpful advice of "dialoguing" the young girls with the promise that they will be offered the "B.B.D." (Bigger Better Deal). Many memorable characters are encountered along their journey of finding the ultimate piece of you-know-what in this already overpopulated area of hottys.Who can forget Candy, the chick who "melts in your ear and not in your mouth". And Rag's ability to "flip people off in 48 languages". Hardbodies is also a standout in the category of "80's Party Movie" because it holds the distinction of being one of the few where just about every girl shown in the flick gets naked at least once. Let us all celebrate the 18th anniversary of "Hardbodies" by getting plenty of beer and picking up this brilliant masterpiece at the local blockbuster. A Cinematic triumph and a milestone in 80's cinema.