Heartbeeps

1981 "Meet a modern nuclear family unlike any other."
4.3| 1h19m| PG| en
Details

Two domestic robots fall in love and run off together.

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Reviews

StunnaKrypto Self-important, over-dramatic, uninspired.
Twilightfa Watch something else. There are very few redeeming qualities to this film.
Kien Navarro Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.
Skyler Great movie. Not sure what people expected but I found it highly entertaining.
Mojochi I'm not sure what I just saw here, & how I've never even heard of this before. It is easily the most unintentionally bizarre thing ever conceived on film, & though it's a genuine failure on multiple levels (So much so that Kaufman apologized & offered people their money back on a Letterman appearance) it's not without its charms.It's got some interesting cinematography, makeup effects by the acclaimed master of 80's FX Stan Winston & a wonderfully unprecedented synthesizer & orchestral fused score, composed by none other than the great John Williams, which lends the film some heart...beeps.Though I'm really surprised that Carol Kane didn't end up as the female lead, Peters & Kaufman bring to the film exactly what you'd expect, as well as they likely could, & there is a root of a story in there with some actual heart. I streamed it on Amazon. Don't watch it to see a good movie, as it may be 1 of the movie industry's biggest train wrecks. Watch it like a time capsule revealing something historical about a people who lived nearly half a century years ago & their vision of a future. 1981 was a strange time.I swear, Andy Kaufman had the absolute strangest career in entertainment of anyone who ever breathed. It's like he lived in the cracks between where the entertainment industry reality stopped & fantasy began. If anyone else had made this movie, I'd think they had gone mental, but if you said to me Andy Kaufman made it, I'd be like "Oh... That makes sense".
The_Film_Cricket 'Heartbeeps' belongs on a short list of strange bad movies of which you have never seen their like and are likely to never see again. It is easy to dismiss a movie that is a total waste of time but even through it falls on its face you have to give this one points for trying.Somewhere in the future two robots named Val (Andy Kaufman) and Aqua (Bernadette Peters) wonder what else might be out there in the world besides a droll existence playing butler and hostess to their owners. So they break out of their slave state and go exploring.Along the way they meet an odd-looking comedian robot named Catskill and a boxy little robot named Phil who acts more or less as a surrogate son. Unbeknownst to all of them they are wanted. To prove it, hot on their tin tails is a mean robocop named Crimebuster.There really isn't much to say about 'Heartbeeps' except that Stan Winston's Oscar nominated make up effects are really very good. Other then that the movie wanders about searching for a laugh or two and comes off as a bad novelty item rather than a movie. This is the kind of bad movie that you can call terrible but not forgettable.
danarose_crystal The film had NO help at all, promotion-wise: if there was an advertising promo on TV or radio, I didn't see/hear it. The only newspaper ad I saw was on it's opening weekend: a dingy, sludgy B & W head-shot photo of Andy as Val-Com, behind jail bars, with headline: "WANTED! Runaway Robot!" ( which was also the poster in front of the 3 movie theaters I saw it at --NOT the nice little color poster on this site, with headshots of all the cast, and cartoon of Crimebuster --which really wasn't THAT good--they OUGHT to have used an action scene from the film itself--didn't they have an onset photographer? A poster is supposed to HELP a prospective audience decide if they want to SEE the movie--there were SO many people who couldn't get into their sold-out choice, and wanted to know WHAT Heartbeeps was about--and that poster didn't help! That dingy pic, and the only other photos supplied to papers were so indistinguishable in B & W that they were worthless. ) There was NO trailer for the film: only a slide at one theater, consisting of the word "Heartbeeps" inside a heart-shape, with a Cupid's arrow through it, and one that was a totally black picture: just Andy and Bernadette's voices saying "Val-Com! My pleasure center is malfunctioning!" "So is mine; do you think we ought to tell our owners?" THAT is no help to people who hadn't been aware of the movie.During the filming, Andy told reporters that he couldn't eat, once his plastic lips were applied, so he would "load up on breakfast, and fast" during the day's shoot. I don't know WHAT Bernadette did: but at the time, I'd wondered why they didn't just sip protein drinks through long straws, or eat astronaut-style puréed food via tubes? Phil-Co, the baby robot, seemed to have been the pre-curser to Short Circuit's Johnny-Five, with the same eyes, similar face. I've been trying to find if they had the same designer, but no help. I have vintage magazine articles about the film, and the design team was immensely proud of their work, and were going for a special award for their innovative device to create stenchless "smoke" for Catskill's cigars. Just shortly thereafter, LucasFilm did NOT use that device, though they OUGHT to have, for Return of the Jedi's scenes with Jabba the Hut: a man created "steam" around Jabba, by blowing cigar smoke into a tube, joking that all he needed was a glass of brandy, and he'd be a happy man. I thought that LucasFilm's using of real tobacco products was insensitive to people who were upset by smoke. John Williams, who had then recently succeeded the late, great Arthur Fielder as the maestro of the Boston Pops ( which was THEN a ratings hit--but it never recovered from Fielder's death, and is now a shadow of it's former glory ), was using the show to promote films with which he supplied the music. He'd premiered "The Empire Strikes Back" score there; and you would think he'd have helped Heartbeeps along, by playing a few numbers there? The one thing that critics had liked of this film was Williams' score--yet it was NOT available for purchase! I saw one vinyl album, in 1982, with half Heartbeeps, half another film--but it disappeared. I only just tonight saw the CD listed on THIS site, and have ordered it. If I can ever get a scanner, and time to type out the articles, I'd like to create a Heartbeeps tribute site. I liked the movie, and don't care what dissenters say! The only trouble with the film, was, that near the end, it was messed up, logic-wise: the robots ran away from the factory to have the freedom to decide their own fate, make their own choices; yet, when the junkyard owners tell them that Phil needs to go TO the factory, to have a "purpose" programmed into him, they don't even question it; they just glance meaningfully at each other, and they go. Along the way, each of the adults lose battery power, and "die." They aren't REALLY dead, as they are robots, and only need new batteries, yet it is treated as "death," with little Phil crying over them, and rolling away. So, what was the POINT of this? Phil never gets back to the factory, and gets "a purpose!" AND of course, the junkyard owners COULD'VE driven them, or given them all battery recharges, with back-up batteries; but the real point was to have this poignant scene, where the robots all wore down, and Phil is left to cry. At the end, Val-Com is a golf instructor, and Aqua-Com is --I'm not sure what. Catskill is an ENTERTAINER--what ELSE is HE supposed to be? I'm not sure that they made it clear. The junkyard owners seem to be taking it easy, lying on chaise lounges, drinking lemonade from Phil, their "bartender." Val's and Aqua's new "daughter," Philsia--I think the name is--maybe it's Sylvania--doesn't seem to be much more than a table lamp. There is missing footage, which is sad--from photos I surmise that the stuff missing includes a sweet scene, where Phil is having a Christmas, with Val gifting him with a car's steering wheel; Aqua is supplying a horn; Catskill has taken the firefighter helmet to give to Phil, as we saw; and they have Christmas trees. I don't know if any missing footage supplies better logic, or if the writers just couldn't think of a better crisis/resolution. The film was trimmed to 72-75 minutes, to pair it with other failing films. No other reason than that. For a DVD, I would LOVE to be in on creating, as I want to see interviews with the cast/crew and John Williams, and the Merv Griffin interview. The making-of footage; and reediting and restoring the missing footage to make it better.
robot-cat I really wanted to like this movie, but the pacing was just way too slow.It was a nice story, but it was really like watching a slug race.The movie would have been better served, if it had some more action. I don't mean anything grand, but at least something in the background.It could have also been helped by songs that set the tone/mood of the more lengthy periods that were absent of dialogue.It's been about 10 years since I've seen it, so I may have to give it another chance.3/10 or *1/2(out of four)