Boobirt Stylish but barely mediocre overall

Fairaher The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

FrogGlace In other words,this film is a surreal ride.

Rio Hayward All of these films share one commonality, that being a kind of emotional center that humanizes a cast of monsters.

Michael O'Keefe This action adventure has American Lt. Commander Jeffords(James Franciscus), serving with the British Royal Army being sent on a dangerous mission to Malta. His top secret assignment is to take command of a flotilla of motor torpedo boats and use them to destroy a Nazi glider bomb depot on Sicily. Jeffords is distracted, but not totally, by a naked woman, Alison(Elizabeth Shepard), swimming in the sea. Romance will begin to flare, only to flame out, when the American finds out that the woman is the wife of his immediate commander(Ronald Allen).This movie is actually filmed in Malta; scenery is nothing to speak of. HELL BOATS seems to have no real ambition and could easily be described as both dull and unmemorable. If there is any redemption, it is Miss Shepard providing some sizzle in a wet shirt. The cast also features: Mark Hawkins, John Heller, Magda Konopka, Takis Emmanuel and Reuven Bar-Yotam.

julianj-1 I've become fascinated by the small-scale war of coastal craft in WW2 - the nightly battles between allied and axis fast light craft, the buccaneering nature of some of the commanders and the stoicism and bravery of the crews on both sides fighting with grim and unrecognised heroism.When I realised Hell Boats was showing on C5 I turned it on, missing the first 20 minutes or so. Unfortunately this is a horribly creaky drama, and doesn't do any favours to realism. It's basically ridiculous, even allowing for the terrible model work, with German "E Boats" (actually called S-Boats) that don't look remotely like the real thing. The hero and his mate plus comedy partisans and eye-candy sneak into a German port and shoot their way out....{SPOILER} At the low point of three men with pistols capturing an "E Boat" I gave up.A disappointment. I'm sure there is a great film to be made about the coastal war, but this isn't it.

screenman It's not a good sign to see a former manager of the 'Crossroads' motel running any British WW2 enterprise in Malta.This movie began with a naval clash in the English Channel. British MTB's pitted against German E-boats. The latter both more heavily armed and armoured. Unfortunately, someone forgot to take the lens cap off or used the wrong aperture-setting, as practically nothing could be observed. Later, we encounter an American commander who has somehow got into the Royal Navy on account of having a British mum. So even here, we depend upon the Yanks. He's given a certain-death mission to do in Malta.To the maker's credit, filming does actually take place in Malta. There's some nice location choices and the colours of the Med are beautifully captured. Sadly; that's about it. Most of the movie entails conflicts of a more human kind. There's a failing marriage and we squander a disproportionate amount of time over the agonising and recriminations. The plot's a bit silly - '633 Squadron' on water (only sillier). The script is formulaic, the acting wooden. As to the 'Hell-Boats'; blink and you'll miss 'em.A great opportunity to show these versatile little warships powering through the waves and generally blazing a trail was completely missed. If we'd spent half as much time seeing them smashing through white-caps as we spent with the commander's philandering missus, it might've been worth an extra star or two. But even then, the daft plot, mediocre drama and soap-opera script would doom this to the unmemorable list.Check out 'The Ship That Died Of Shame', John Wayne's 'They Were Expendable' or 'PT109'. This could've been just as good if not better, for no extra money but a bit more thought.

no2-10 Superficially it's a war drama of the tiny motor torpedo boats which did much unsung work in WW2, but the naval battles merely provide an exciting story in which an even more special romantic drama is wrapped up. The difficult love triangle involves the stuffy, awkward Brit and his unhappy wife, complicated by the arrival of the flamboyant American. The three play their parts beautifully as the tension rises; husband suspects wife, she is agonisingly torn between the two, lover tries to win her over.Additionally there is an element of professional respect between the officers, which only serves to frustrate their base instincts, as the competent yet uncertain Brit tries to hold onto both a command and a wife he knows he doesn't deserve, and the daring yet sensitive American (a divorcée?) starts to see some semblance of bravery fighting to break out from the Brit's inhibited facade. Very like real life, the path of love does not run true, and the result is thus more realistic than one would expect from a movie. The madcap plans to outwit the enemy mimic perhaps, the deceptions played out in the romance.This may not be a totally memorable film, but it has some finely understated beauty, which quietly avoids using hackneyed stereotypes, and mawkish efforts at pathos.