Lesbian Vampire Killers

2009 "After Twilight, The Real Party Starts."
5.1| 1h26m| R| en
Details

With their women having been enslaved by a pack of lesbian vampires, the remaining menfolk of a rural town send two hapless young lads out onto the moors as a sacrifice.

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Reviews

Colibel Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.
Freaktana A Major Disappointment
Kidskycom It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.
Kaydan Christian A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.
j-bennetta This movie is up there with Hitchcocks Psycho as a classic that will forever be known as a hidden diamond. Prejudice viewers will often see the title and refuse to watch this brilliant film, but in the end it is them who are going to miss out!The acting in superb in this master piece, the gags are ever lasting with some memorable quotes that will forever exist in the English literature. But it does not end there, with the storyline demonstrating the bond that is felt between two friends on a quest and the loyalty that one must always hold true to their bro. To put this movie into comparison, one needn't look further then The Omen to see that it is everything that is this "horror", only better with more cock swords.Anyone who refuses to watch this at a movie night, even though the votes are for it and the people voting against it have been proved to have poor judgment and a lack of humanity, should move to Frankston so as to join the uneducated in ignorance and inbred herpes.
marc-895 There is little qualify this disaster as a movie other than the high production values presumably driven by the success of Gavin & Stacey. Unfortunately, this dire attempt at comedy sees James Corden playing a childish fatty with a penchant for expletives and chummed up with poor Mathew Horne as the straight guy.Presumably this was supposed to be a homage to some Morecambe and Wise farce with lashings of low-budget Hammer Horror thrown in for good measure.What we find is a cast struggling with below par dialogue and a script that must have seemed funny down the pub over a gallon or two of high-strength lager.Horne and McGann (what was Paul McGann thinking?) try their best with inadequate plotting and dire fight choreography and despite some passable cinematography, James Corden manages to drag this almost passable farce into a grave where it should have remained buried, playing "Smiffy" all over again.I watched all six episodes of Horne and Corden expecting it to get better - it didn't; and this is even worse. Die hard fans will, doubtless overlook the film's weakness and have a good chuckle. Good luck to them.Everyone else (and producers in particular would do well to take note) that success in one genre does not necessarily travel to others. Gavin and Stacey was romantic, charming and occasionally laugh-out-loud funny.No wonder our film industry is in such a state.
Tweekums I had heard that this film was pretty poor before watching it but hoped it might be in the 'so bad it is good' category of film… unfortunately it was just bad. It wasn't very funny so failed as a comedy and wasn't scary so failed as a horror film. The protagonists are Jimmy and Fletch two unlikable characters who have been dumped by his girlfriend and sacked from his job respectively. Unable to afford a holiday abroad they though a dart into a map of Britain and end up going to a village in Norfolk. Once there the landlord of the rather creepy pub gives them free beer and tells them they can stay in a nearby cottage… along with the van load of beautiful women they saw as they arrived. Once there it looks as if the boys will get lucky until the lesbian vampires turn up. Jimmy and one of the girls are captured and used in a ritual to raise the vampire queen; luckily the local vicar has told Fletch what must be done to kill her.This film was more disappointing than I'd expected; the only chuckle I had was when Fletch pushed a large-breasted vampire into a shower while the vicar blessed the water and was left holding a pair of implants. James Corden and Mathew Horne play Fletch and Jimmy; they are better known from their TV comedy and that might be why several scenes felt like they were sketches from a TV comedy. As for the lesbian vampires; they just seemed to wave their arms about a bit so if you were hoping for some mild titillation as compensation for the lack of laughs and scares you'll probable be disappointed. I wouldn't bother watching this unless you can't sleep and it is on late night television.
callanvass (Credit IMDb) Centuries ago, Baron Wolfgang MacLaren vanquished the Vampire Queen Carmilla in the remote Cragwich; however, before decapitating the evil vampire, she curses the locals and descendants of the baron, swearing that every woman would turn into a lesbian vampire on the eighteenth birthday. On the present days, the clumsy and naive cuckold Jimmy is dumped again by his girlfriend Judy and misses her. His best friend Fletch is fired in his job of clown after hitting an annoying boy. The two friends are broken and decide to camp in the countryside to forget their problems, and Jimmy throws a dart in a map in a pub to decide where they should go. They head to Cragwich and when they arrive in the bar Baron's Rest, they see four hot girls leaving the place in a Kombi. The innkeeper offers the old Mircalla cottage in the woods for them, the same place the girls will lodge. Meanwhile, Lotte, Heide,...I rented this out of pure curiosity, due to the titling itself. I really didn't expect much for a film of this nature, and I pretty much got what I bargained for. It's nothing downright horrible, but nothing overly amusing either. It tries so hard to follow in the vain of Shaun of the Dead, but it doesn't have the laughs or the talent to accomplish that feat. The characters themselves aren't very intriguing, and it really only gained steam for me in the final 35 minutes or so. Bottom line. Mediocre sums up the word for this movie perfectly. Don't remember much about it, don't really care too. Worth a look I guess, but it's vastly forgettable.4 ½ /10