thesar-2
Strange, even as short 'Axe' was (running time barely just past an hour) the movie seemed so long. Some scenes were drawn so far out and even the opening and closing credits were all but on "pause." Then, as if the director/actor realized this, he jumps some scenes hilariously from one character/object to another at light speed. And speaking of jerking cameras, to prove there was little to zero budget, every time an action or horror scene was to happen, the camera would blink away. Case in point, one of the most hilarious scenes was a man jumping out of a window 10 or so stories (get this, to avoid death) and you not only can't see him jumping, you simply hear glass and a character looking behind drawn shades. Clearly, this was just another typical 70s horror, no budget revenge/bad guys getting what they deserve flick, a la 'Last House on the Left.' The title escapes me, because the heroine uses an axe (again off screen) but also uses many other devices. I suppose it was just to draw the same 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre' audience. Three men who kill another man while watching, I guess, was his partner plunge to his death, try and secure safety in a farm house occupied by a paralyzed grandfather and his granddaughter. They apparently pose a deep threat to the twosome, yet no attempts at escape entail. When one tries to rape her, she goes savage and offs him. It doesn't stop there. Blah, blah, nothing new, even back then. Slightly creepy in closing, but again, this hour-long movie seems like three hours. Not even recommended for revenge/torture/rape victim rights group movie lovers.
Tromafreak
Wouldn't it be nice if one could turn on the TV on the Sundance channel, or the Independent Film Channel any time, and actually find something independent, like Hitchhike to Hell, or Blood Stalkers? As too few of us realize, there is a slight difference between the pseudo-independent, Hollywood pattern-following, overly-PC garbage that actually gets played regularly on television, and obscure, low-budget classic trash like California Axe Massacre, which supposedly no one cares about. Personally, I find this kind of thing to be interesting, dare I say refreshing. California Axe Massacre may not be much, but it is art, dismal, pointless art, but art, nonetheless. Unlike modern-day indies, No suits lurking around the set, controlling everything so the director can make them as much money as possible. In the 70's, there was real independence.Did I say independence? I meant incoherence, sorry about that. Now, on with this sleep-aid of a story. Three gangsters, or some kind of bad guys are hiding out in some guy's apartment that they have beef with, awaiting his return. It's never explained what this beef is, but once the poor fellow gets home, he is taunted, intimidated, and beaten to death in a very unrealistic manner, with his boyfriend having to witness all of this, no wait, he just killed himself, .that takes care of him. The thugs decide to take it to the country, and lay low for a while. The pointless scene that follows would not be a good start...But first, meet the bad guys.Steele:The leader of the group. A bully with serious anger issues who prefers his fruit fresh. Played by the always unlikeable, Jack Canon. Steele sucks.Lomax: Steele's sidekick, just a petty thug, as well as a bully. Played by the legendary Ray Green. Hobbies include eating, smoking, and rape. Lomax sucks.Billy: Guy with chia-pet hair, who got mixed up with riff raff. Billy ain't cool with these guys being mean to people. Steele and Lomax have no patience for this guy's sensitivity. Played by Friedel. As far as being a bad guy goes, Billy sucks.Anyway, In this unnecessary, unentertaining scene, which only re-proves that the bad guys are in fact, bad. The trio stop at a convenience store. Billy, naturally, stays in the car, but Steele and Lomax walk in like they own the joint. Lomax is mainly there for the pastries, but Mr. anger management Steele decides to throw a fit over some apples, scaring the hell out of some poor woman, Billy definitely wouldn't approve. After a little target practice with the cashier, the bad guys decide to find a random, farm house, and force their company upon some unsuspecting people for a few days, and to hopefully lay low...Meet Lisa, a quiet, unhappy-looking girl, who lives on a remote farm. Lisa has no parents, All she has in this world is her paralyzed grandfather, who she does everything for, and she pretty much does everything around the farm. Lonely, and miserable, the poor girl is on the verge of suicide. No time for that right now, Lisa, and grandpa are about to get three visitors. Unfortunately, this doesn't help matters at all, in fact, it sucks. Now that the bad guys have found their destination, it doesn't take long for them to worm their way in, and make themselves at home, they even make Lisa cook for them. Now that Lomax has his belly full, he makes it clear that he's in the mood for a rape, Billy does not approve, and is on the verge of a tantrum, and Lisa is "this close" to slitting her wrists. Jeepers, it's gonna be a long night...California Axe Massacre is just about the most independent film you're going to find. With the most obvious quality being a low... and I mean Low budget, let's face it, we're looking at a Z-grade here. Qualities such as incompetent directing, zero character development, and complete pointlessness makes themselves very clear, The mood of this film is parallel to that of Lisa's; hopeless and somber, nearly lifeless, but mainly tragic. Ironically, Lisa is by far, the best thing this film has to offer. Leslie Lee does a great job at portraying a lonely, disconnected, shell of a person, who hasn't experienced a great deal of happiness. Seemingly numb on the surface, yet driven insane by a complete and utter lack of joy, hence, very capable of murder. As for the 3 bad guys, well, even grandpa was more entertaining. Anyone willing to look past this films limitless flaws might recognize a fair amount of genuine horror, a quality that no longer exists. California Axe Massacre is the second and final installment of Frederick Friedel's mean-spirited, Carolinasploitation series of the 70's. That's right, you can't ever call it one of a kind. There's actually another one of these, the unintentional comedy, Kidnapped Coed, or The Kidnapper, or whatever you want to call it, I prefer House Of Terror. Although, they may be slightly fascinating, both of Friedel's disasterpieces leave a little to be desired, even for a veteran, bad movie lover. While House Of Terror has about half the dialogue, it actually turns out to be the more interesting of the two. On the other hand, California Axe Massacre actually makes a little sense, but surprisingly seems even more low-budget. Both are inept as hell, both could have benefited from a script, and both star Jack Cannon, which probably doesn't help much either, it's a lose-lose situation in Exploitation country. As incoherent and half-assed as both these films are, I totally dig them both, and would especially recommend viewing with a friend with an appreciation for trash, or even for torturing those who hate it. For anyone who prefers their B-entertainment as bad as it can possibly be, look no further than Frederick R. Friedel's Twin Bastards Of Drive-In obscurity. Now, that's independence!!
