Never Too Young to Die

1986 "Action: Bond style. Beauty: Vanity style. Hero: American style."
4.8| 1h32m| NR| en
Details

Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless hermaphrodite gang leader Velvet Von Ragnar. The murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest.

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Charter Entertainment

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Reviews

Hellen I like the storyline of this show,it attract me so much
Supelice Dreadfully Boring
HomeyTao For having a relatively low budget, the film's style and overall art direction are immensely impressive.
Micah Lloyd Excellent characters with emotional depth. My wife, daughter and granddaughter all enjoyed it...and me, too! Very good movie! You won't be disappointed.
julian kennedy Never Too Young to Die is one of the most eighties films you will ever see. The film stars John Stamos who joins forces with his father's partner Vanity after daddy is killed trying to prevent a hermaphrodite, played by Gene Simmons, from poisoning the towns water supply.The Good: Vanity and Gene Simmons. Vanity is simply ethereal in this film. There doesn't seem to be a shot where she isn't effortlessly beautiful. She also shows decent action and acting chops. She is not Meryl Streep mind you but compared to say Denise Richards in The World Is Not Enough she is a cut above as the action heroes girlfriend.Gene Simmons is the other gem. Channeling both Tim Curry's Dr. Frank-N-Furter and The Joker. He takes what could have easily been an offensive and problematic bad guy and makes him/her so over the top offensive and problematic it becomes a delightful tour de force.The Bad: Well the rest of the movie. George Lazenby (That guy who keeps Timothy Dalton from being the world's worst Bond) is kinda just there and while John Stamos isn't awful by any means he can hardly hold his own against Vanity and Gene Simmons. (Yeah let that thought roll around in your head a minute.)Gene Simmon's minions look like they wandered off the Death Wish 3 set or perhaps a post-apocalyptic Full Moon Feature. They are entertaining enough but so out of place in the universe as is the army chasing them. Gil Bettman's direction is a simple point and shoot affair with some strange choices. He shoots a sex scene that clearly calls for an Emmanuel style soft focus linger in the same fast cut back and forth he shoots the action scenes.Overall: This is not a good movie. This, however, is an incredible eighties film. Vanity and Simmons simply elevate the already insane base material to a new level. It may not be defensible but it is sure entertaining.
ajurries I just bought this and can't stop watching it. I love Gene Simmons and I'm a big fan of him and KISS. Seeing him as half man and half woman was hilarious. Probably not the right career move, but it's a good movie, even to watch now in 2006. Well Gene Simmons plays two parts, one as Carruthers and the other as Velvet Von Ragner. It will have you thinking what's going on next and maybe at the end of your seat. Well maybe not at the end of seat, but still it's Gene Simmons, so you got to love it. Hope you enjoy, I sure did-well still do.Oh and there is a sex scene with John Stamos and Vanity. Doesn't show much, but it does show some of Vanity naked. I don't think this is a good movie for kids under 17 so see b/c there is blood and such too. A lot of violence (well not a lot, about average).
rise4peace This has to be close to one of the worst movies ever made. The plot is so amazingly poor that I am surprised I haven't seen this movie being reviewed on mst3k. The scary thing is that john stamos tries to act, which is a complete joke. You just gotta love gene simmons...come on did he act in this movie while on vacation from the endless kiss reunion tours...garbage.
Michael C. Hawk (unclebusu) This movie is so bad, I simply had to rate it a ten. It's like the odometer in your car. If you drive it long enough, it will come back around to zero. Starting at ten, this film moved so far down my scale, that it came back around to the top. It is a model of perfection in the realm of the awful. I love it! If you are a fan of Mystery Science Theatre, find a copy and gather up friends to roast this rare slice of Americana. One can only pray that a special edition DVD is on the way. Can you imagine the audio track with Gene Simmons and John Stamos bantering back and forth about wardrobe difficulties or the weak coffee at craft service? The George Lazenby trivia game?! Not every movie has to be Casablanca to be a classic, so enjoy "Never Too Young To Die