Incannerax What a waste of my time!!!

AniInterview Sorry, this movie sucks

mraculeated The biggest problem with this movie is it’s a little better than you think it might be, which somehow makes it worse. As in, it takes itself a bit too seriously, which makes most of the movie feel kind of dull.

Jenni Devyn Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Munin75 Pirates was shown on TV a few days back so I thought I'd watch it since I knew it was a Polanski film - my knowledge of it was limited to that. When watching, I figured it was a 70s film considering the style, pretty old-school and theatrical. I was later surprised to learn it was actually released in 1986. The first hour or so of the movie was very entertaining. It reminded me, in terms of style, of "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly", only with a less impressive soundtrack and instead of cowboys in the desert it's pirates at sea. After an hour I slowly started losing interest. The plot seemed to turn around in circles, and it literally does at the end, leaving me somewhat unsatisfied despite the better first half.Pirates earns points for the fabulous costumes, for which it was nominated at the Oscars, and also the realistic sword fight scenes - the actors don't seem to obey to an elaborate choreography where they hit in the general direction of their opponent, like in Pirates of the Caribbean or Star Wars, but rather they aim directly at their opponents in harsh fights, and that was refreshing. The pirate Captain Red was fabulous, a typical drunkard gritty personality, however I didn't care in the slightest bit for the other characters.An overall entertaining film and I'm glad I watched it, but to be honest I will probably forget most of it in a few months, and will not go out of my way to recommend it to anyone else.

sol- One can easily see that Roman Polanski was trying to ride on the success of his early comedy 'The Fearless Vampire Killers!' when making this film. The protagonists and love interests in both films are nearly identical, however in 'Pirates', the cast and crew do not manage to do nearly as good as a job. To be fair, some of the crew give good contributions, such as the costumes by Anthony Powell, and Philippe Sarde's great music score, however these points barely atone at all for the overall picture. It is more often stupid than it is funny, with the same old jokes recycled during the film - the shark pun fails particularly poorly. It is mostly just a mixture of being absurd and revolting, with little in the way of a story, and towards the end it is just messy. It could be argued that Matthau gives it his all - perhaps he does - but the results are not too great. There is enough in this film to save it from being an utter disaster, but still, it is not a very good film.

ephraimwaite This enjoyably foolish romp was apparently a flop, and mauled by the critics. Why? Good question. I speculate three reasons: lack of an obviously American lead and presence, an opening set-up that pays off in the long run but doesn't provide a beginning with a bang, and an anarchic, politically incorrect, almost amoral tone that was not digestible to Disneyfied mainstream audiences. These, and the length of the piece, would have been strengths if this had been released as a children's book, and I further speculate that it would have been well received in such a format, as a homage to old stories like Treasure Island. It could then have been adapted into a hit movie (with more explosions and an ethically impeccable American hero who does get the girl in the end).As it is, there is much to admire, delight and entertain, with legitimate criticisms being some of the dodgy casting and (lack of)linguistics (especially as regards the Spanish characters) - Walther Matthau's gloriously over-the-top performance honourably excepted - some lapses of logic in the plot (why doesn't the Frog just swim after the rowboat and bring it back when they get stuck on the chain?), and the fact that it is slightly too long.Ripe for a sequel, if, like me, you ever wondered what happened to Cap'n Red and his beloved throne, and The Frog and his beloved Dolores.

Igenlode Wordsmith I assumed no film could be as dire as this one was painted. Well, it has a pretty girl. And, um, a pretty boy. Oh, and the music's not bad. So far as I can see, alas, that is the sum total of things that can be said in its favour....Perhaps its most grievous sin is that it's *not funny*. In fact, Roman Polanski's 'Pirates' has achieved an almost uniquely unfunny status in my experience, equalled only by the first reel of 'Austin Powers'. From the moment the first would-be joke hit the screen -- the fish-hook gag -- I could tell things were going to get wearisome. But I really can't call to mind any another film in which every single joke, from the vinegar enemas to the mute lawyer, has either fallen completely flat or been actively distasteful. The first time I looked at my watch to see if we were near the end yet, it was only 30 minutes in... it just didn't feel that way. The next hour and a half managed to consist of some of the most boring action sequences I've seen. Something is badly amiss with a pirate movie when you find yourself yawning through the fight scenes, let alone rapidly ending up hoping the main character will come to a sticky end. 'Captain Red' is not only disgusting, despicable, greedy and incompetent, he manages to be simultaneously tedious and actively irritating.Humour is an odd and an idiosyncratic thing, but when it completely misses the mark for you the film becomes a real ordeal. Perhaps the millions who loved Austin Powers find this film more amusing than I did. As for caring about any of the principal characters... the luckless 'Frog' and his ladylove are a decorative and occasionally sweet pair; but since any hint of romance is instantly shattered by efforts at coarse comedy, it's hard to get worked up about their fate. Which is just as well, really.'Pirates' is not even bad enough to be good in an Ed Wood sort of way. If you like pirate films -- don't on any account watch this one. If you don't like pirate films, *definitely* don't watch it! Be wiser than I was. Take the advice I ignored... and whoever you are, don't watch this film. A film *can* deserve its reputation as an all-out stinker, and this one does.