Inclubabu Plot so thin, it passes unnoticed.

Supelice Dreadfully Boring

Calum Hutton It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

Darin One of the film's great tricks is that, for a time, you think it will go down a rabbit hole of unrealistic glorification.

Horst in Translation ([email protected]) "Was Eltern wirklich wissen sollten" or "What All Parents Should Know" is a West German film from 1973, so this one is almost 45 years old. One of the directors is Ernst Hofbauer and if you here his name and know that this is a 1970s film, then you will immediately realize that this is soft-core porn and actually it is the fifth entry too the pretty successful German series of Schulmädchen / School girl films. This one here like pretty much all the others stays under the 90-minute mark and is basically a collection of short films just like they always are. The description says it perfectly, some have a happy ending, some don't. And there is lots of sex and nudity, especially female, in here. I personally think the series did not start very strongly and it stayed fairly forgettable. But hey, at least it did not get worse. These films are not worth checking out if you are looking for good stories or acting, but really only if you are horny or wonder why these films were such a cultural phenomenon back then. As much as you may dislike them, they certainly were an important part of the cinematic landscape in 1970s Germany. Still I give it a thumbs-down. Not recommended.

Wolfgang_Rodenbach Francis Ford Coppola proudly proclaims his Godfather Part II was the very first sequel to use a number in it's title. Before that, sequels did not necessarily make any reference to the one that came before. But what about the German made Shulmädchen Report series then? 6 of the 13 parts were released before 1974. While every Teil in this series has a lengthy subtitle (usually pertaining to parents) that could conceivably have originally been the release title, the same thing can not be said for 'Blutjunge Verführerinnen' (three parts in '71 and '72). Therefore I am inclined to think producer Wolfgang C. Hartwig pipped FFC to the post.Each of these films is supposedly based on the book by Günther Hunold in which he interviewed 12 schoolgirls on their sexual lives. By the time this fifth outing came round, however, the format of anecdotal soft-sex sequences as written by another Günther (this one called Heller) was firmly in place. The same thing goes for the swinging Titel-Musik by Gert Wilden. Each segment takes up between ten minutes (one reel) and fifteen. The entire film is just under 70 minutes (at least the version commented on here), amounting to a series of six segments. Most of these are more dramatic in nature than those in the 'Verführerinnen' films.As usual in a typically male-written fantasy such as this, it is the sex obsessed girls who go around seducing (older) men every opportunity they get. Of course the time period and short skirt fashion of the day really lends itself to this kind of thing as well. Nudge, nudge. Three girls branch off from their school hiking trip to ravish their male minder. A young couple seeks advise from older counterparts to practice the art of love making. A young girl at a convent school becomes obsessed with her teacher, the school chaplain. An Italian plumber and his mate have a double date with two mini-skirted Madchen while on the job. Several school boys gang up on a girl who's found love with an older lover. A young couple contemplates consummating their love.Amusingly, none of the actors are credited upfront, being instead listed as 'many unnamed and educational youth'. However, the one and only draw was then and always will be the young and nubile Ingrid Steeger, undefeated queen of German Sexploitation. Unlike in the aforementioned 'Blutjunge Verführerinnen' films, there are quite a few nice looking girls amongst the others (usually Ingrid is the only one worth looking at in the entire picture). But still, with her big brown eyes, that birthmark on her right cheek and the ever present bit of jewelry around her waist, Steeger instantly makes you forget all the others the moment she appears on screen. Unsurprisingly, her segment (the girl in love with the chaplain) is the centerpiece of the film. What is surprising is the sour note this film takes after that, with a girl being raped by classmates (off screen) and another being urged to lose her virginity against her will by her girlfriend. Perhaps the fact that there were two different directors working on the segments has something to do with this.Sechs out of Zehn

movieman_kev The first vignette sees three girls, Lorna, Marianne, and Petra,while on a class field trip, betting that Petra can't get it on with the male teacher (if she wins she gets ice cream of all things). It's a dumb little segment, but entertaining enough. I give it a C+ The next revolves around Margit attempting to seduce her grandfather. It was attempting to be shocking, but merely came off as gross and cringe-inducing. I give it a F- The third tells of young lovers Gabi and Peter who don't know how to satisfy each other, so they go to respective older more experienced people to teach them. She to a family friend and him to his Aunt (again the ugly incest angle) segment is more explicit then the previous two as it show both lovers masturbating alone. I give it a D- Eva is trying to seduce her teacher (who's also a priest) in the fourth vignette. The fifth revolves around Urchi and Inge skipping biology class to practice biology with two Italian plumbers it's also the only one that tries comedy (albiet really badly). Steffi falls for a married man and gets gang-raped in the disjointed, tawdry sixth tale. Finally a bookend vignette has virgin Ruth being peer pressured into sleeping with the town stud with a surprising twist. All the aforementioned segments were neither good enough to praise nor bad enough to damn. I'll give them all a C My overall Grade: D (not even worth the time I spent to write this review)Eye Candy: Puppa Armbruster, Cleo Kretschmer, Ulrike Butz, Sonja Jeannine, Marina Blümel, Maria Raber, Ingrid Steeger, Marisa Feldy, Christine Von Stratowa, and three other unknown actresses, all get totally nude; Monika Hagen goes full frontal

lazarillo I hate to admit it, but this my favorite genre of German films after the Rialto-Edgar Wallace "krimis" and the old silent German horror films of yore. (I like the contemporary, more arty films of Fassbinder and Herzog as much of the next guy, but for pure entertainment value they just don't hold a candle to all the naked and nubile Teutonic lovelies that graced this series). As usual, all the girls here are absolutely beautiful, ridiculously oversexed, and at least five years too old to be actual "schulmadchen". In the first vignette three girls seduce their dorky teacher while on a school trip. Then, a young couple who are having problems "making it" are given a hand (and few other appendages) by an older, more experienced swinging couple. And in the centerpiece story, the incredible Ingrid Steeger seduces her chaplain(!), ultimately causing him to give up God for her (and I don't think anyone who sees her in this would really blame him). Of course, there's also the usual unpleasant, cautionary tale about a promiscuous girl who gets raped by her sexually frustrated male classmates. But the one story I really could have done without was about a girl who seduces her grandfather! (I guess after showing father-daughter incest in "Schulmadchen-Report 3" and brother-sister incest in "Schulmadchen-Report 4" they just had to top themselves in queasiness somehow).This doesn't really have a good frame story like some of the earlier "Schulmadchen-Report" movies, and its more controversial scenes end up being more generically disgusting than entertainingly sordid. If you like the series in general though, you still might somewhat enjoy this.