Tetrady not as good as all the hype

Libramedi Intense, gripping, stylish and poignant

Spidersecu Don't Believe the Hype

KnotStronger This is a must-see and one of the best documentaries - and films - of this year.

Leofwine_draca Following on from the apparent success of their cut-and-paste "ninja" movies starring Richard Harrison, Godfrey Ho and Joseph Lai re-teamed for this incredible piece of gory trash. Once again we have a Hong Kong film intercut with totally unrelated scenes of hardman Richard engaging in all sorts of fisticuffs and martial arts escapades which makes for one extreme, confusing movie. One of the worst films ever made is perversely one of the most hilariously enjoyable to watch! The film starts off well for bad movie buffs with a chase through the dark streets of Hong Kong, ending in a pretty young girl getting messily shredded by a barely-seen slimy creature with lots of tentacles. The local police are soon investigating and become convinced that the killer is a snake monster after discovering some kind of larvae under a desk at their HQ! They pursue an escaped madman up a tree - whose fancy is eating cats - and subdue him, only for the gore murders to continue. The investigating cop, Inspector Ko, finds things even more troubled when he's attacked and held hostage by an ex-con who strips his girlfriend naked before being beaten black and blue in a sudden bout of martial arts from the escaped Ko.After some disco-dancing padding, the monster commits more bloody crimes in the local baths, the heroine is attacked by a spring-loaded cat (™), there are some exceptionally cheesy scenes of a romantic couple running in slow-mo down a beach, and later the same said couple are attacked by an unexplained invasion of snakes in their own car! It doesn't make any sense but it's still kind of enthralling. Later we see a girl making love to a huge snake-monster in the woods via some dodgy but cool-looking special effects, and learn that the resulting offspring is now the snake monster terrorising Hong Kong.After shots of people jumping through windows for no reason and a girl warding off a creature attack with a handy aerosol and lighter, we witness a very cheesy transformation scene of the possessed girl turning into the monster, which then hilariously begins flying through the air and some bushes before being gunned down by the intrepid police force. Although very cheesy, this (unreleased) horror yarn is actually pretty good for what it's worth, with a plot that keeps you on your toes by throwing in all manner of unexplained weirdness, some very graphic murder scenes with blood being splashed about and a low-budget shooting style which gives it a hard-edged realism. The only cheesy thing about it is the snake monster itself, which looks like a cross between the menace in ALIEN and the rubber-suited antics of a cheapo GODZILLA flick.Somehow deciding that an Asian movie populated by unrecognised foreign actors and actresses wouldn't be of interest to movie fans in the West (although I'd sure buy it for a dollar!), Godfrey Ho decided to direct some extra additional scenes which come across as more like a second film tacked on to the first despite some strong efforts to tie the two together, and hoped that you don't notice the absurdity of it all.Genre stalwart Richard Harrison (playing...you guessed it...a character named Richard!) is the ageing but powerful hero whom we first meet driving around in a car and getting flashed by a blue-vested woman. Taking her to some bizarre porno cinema, Richard begins to make love to the lady until she attempts to kill him and starts spitting orange goo from her mouth. The reason being that her employer is an evil witch who supposedly controls the snake monster terrorising Hong Kong using black magic and a crystal ball (powered by - gosh! - a flashing light-bulb!). The witch sends out more blue-vested thugs to kill Richard, who is interrupted from his strongman training by a guy pretending to be the plumber! Much cheesy martial arts action ensues with dubbed in sound-effects and reliance on silly slow-motion scenes of people flying through the air and props like towels (causing the villain to drool uncontrollably) and umbrellas (!) becoming deadly weapons.Finally, Richard gets sick of all the slaughter and decides to visit a fortune teller in his local park, who informs him that his ring is magical and the only thing that can destroy the witch. To aid him on his quest, the fortune teller gives Richard a golden sword and mystical mirror (!) and tells him to visit the witch's castle on the fifteenth of the month (why?) to destroy the ring, which will then in turn kill her. He does the deed and the film ends. Bear in mind that these tacked-on scenes are clumsily inserted THROUGHOUT the rest of the movie and the result is one confusing escapade as you try and make sense of two bizarre films running concurrently! The tacked-on scenes with Harrison are by far the funniest things and side-splittingly good, with Harrison shining brightly amid all the chaos going on around him and keeping an admirably straight face about it all too.SCORPION THUNDERBOLT is a one-of-a-kind movie-going experience, a unique mish-mash of horror and action themes bundled together in one huge disjointed package designed to offend all those with good taste and a low tolerance for trash. While the production values are low, originality non-existent, and no talent evident from either the cast or crew, this remains a highly amusing film thanks to the sheer inanity and craziness of it all. An impossible-to-track-down gem which has now acquired the status of a cult classic for all those (un)fortunate enough to have seen it!

smiley-32 I won his video at a raffle 2 years ago. After going through my video collection, I finally got the chance to watch the film. OK! It's another one of those 'Joseph Lai's cheap action fluke'. But this one has got to be one of the weirdest.This film tells the story about a serial killer snake (which some guy must've been dressed in a humanoid snake costume) goes round killing women. Although the police are trying desperately hard to find the killer. They do believe it's not human.As the film goes, we run into Richard Harrison who plays himself (for some reason). He has a ring which could a stop an evil witch from putting out those weird spells which somehow is responsible for making this woman (Helen) a journalist from turning herself into the snake demon.Another thing about this flick which I had to laugh at, is how comes I watch one of Joseph Lai's movies, they always have music samples from 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' or 'The Big Brawl'. Some well known movies and they take the music score from that movie and put it on theirs? It so weird. Anyway, the film may've been good, but not that good! Totally disastrous

HaemovoreRex Dear God(frey)! What a bloody mess! Poor Richard Harrison yet again finds himself acting out some completely nonsensical scenes which are then edited into a completely non related, even more nonsensical movie! The plot concerns a female journalist who every now and then, against her will (at the beckoning of a blind, flute playing man) transforms into a snake demon type thing and proceeds to go on murderous rampages. This dramatic physiological change from a beautiful woman into a rubbery abomination is further instigated (so we're led to believe via newly edited in footage) by a wicked witch with long gold fingernails who spends her time banging on a drum and gyrating in a most uncoordinated manner....fair enough.Harrison's scenes concern his possession of a magic ring which ostensibly holds the key to the dissolution of the witch's power and the witch's minions' subsequent attempts to relieve Harrison of the said item (by violent means) Yes indeed - this film is bad! Headache inducing-ly bad in fact, but if you're a Godfrey Ho fan, then you wouldn't have it any other way! Highly recommended and a craptastic delight!

udar55 Another cut and paste film starring Richard Harrison from Joseph Lai's cinematic chop-shop IFD Films. But this time there is nary a ninja in sight as we have Harrison battling a demented witch who is killing people by controlling a woman who turns into a large half human/half snake monster. The main portion of the film deals with the snake woman and her love affair with a cop and that begins to get old after a while (although it is gory). The Harrison inserts have him going to find and destroy this "evil witch who lives in a red castle" and they are the highlight of the film. His first scene has him picking up a girl after she has flashed him on the side of the road. "I hate to see someone stand in the rain," he says. Then she tells him that she is an actress (she is actually an assassin sent by a witch) and they should head to the studio to check out her latest film. Cut to Harrison and that chick in a screening room watching one of her films which consists solely of her being tied up naked and painted on by some Chinese dude. Harrison looks at it completely stone faced and then leans over and says, "I've got to admit, you have f@#king talent!" She then proceeds to do a striptease for him set to the sounds of looped Jean Michele Jarre. The climactic battle features stings from both RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK and SUPERMAN. Awesome!