Linbeymusol
Wonderful character development!
Doomtomylo
a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.
Ortiz
Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.
callanvass
Snakes on a Train is a movie I rented due to the pure amusement of the thoughts I had, about the movie. Snakes on a Plane was an enjoyable Action film, so obviously the film makers wanted to cash in on the success, with this low budget effort. At 85 minutes, Snakes on a Train is almost unbearable to witness. I had to keep pausing the film to do something to entertain myself, due to the lack of happenings in the film. Throughout the duration of the film, it's never fully explained why this girl has this curse, or why she keeps coughing up this green/purplish goo constantly. Not only that, there is endless boring dialog of the two main characters, Brujo and Alma discussing how to get rid of the curse. I can appreciate low budget film-making. I'm truly not picky on movies, i'm open to any genre or budget, but Snakes On A Train is truly one of the worst Horror films I have ever seen. Were the writers on Acid or something at the end of this film?. Why did the woman suddenly turn into a giant snake? and most importantly how on earth was it able to devour the train?.Bottom line. Snakes on a Train is a movie that needs to be avoided at all costs. Don't be intrigued like I was by the title, this is a movie that's seriously bad. Let's put these snakes to rest0/10
FilmFanInTheHouse
Snakes on a Train (2006, Dir. The Mallachi Brothers) A Zombie curse is placed upon a woman, which causes her to have living snakes inside her. Brujo, who is looking after her, attempts to take her to Los Angeles on the train. After several confrontations on the train, Brujo's collection of snakes manage to separate themselves from their owner and go on the hunt. Whilst all this is happening, normal, everyday passengers are relaxing, what is unknown to them is that something deadly is heading their way, and that their is no were out.After watching the wonderfully fun 'Snakes on a Plane', i had to check this out. I knew it was going to be a rip-off and that the film will look cheap, but what i found was worst to watch. The whole curse plot was silly and should never have been included. The special effects aren't terrible but are not the best looking. I did not have a clue about the ending. It was silly to watch and pathetic. The acting was absolutely terrible, and looked bad. They just could not act to save their lives. If you want a great laugh, watch this, otherwise you should really avoid this."We have a runaway train. I repeat. We have a runaway train." - Conductor (Stephen A.F. Day)
MisterWhiplash
I would probably want to give this movie a zero if not for the climax, which involves not really Snakes on a Train, but rather Train IN a Snake. The premise was cooked up far more than likely over the course of a night of beers after hearing about Snakes on a Plane in production (this, in fact, was released to coincide with that film's release). The joke is probably not lost on those who will seek this out; I don't think there would be a soul out there who would consider this anything as a serious action-thriller effort (unless on an ironic level beyond the capacity for rational thought). It's about a Mayan curse placed on a woman who's damned by her family for leaving with another man, and is soon seen sickened and coughing up green slime laced with, of course, snakes. She and her beau go on a train headed for Los Angeles, and very soon after the more-than-cliché characters are privy to snakes overtaking the train- with the originator woman becoming a snake herself. If it would be worth listing more about the movie I would, but there isn't enough time during the day. All that can be said for the quality factor is that it's almost on-existent; there are student short films with larger budgets. Maybe that was a wise calculation on the filmmakers' end, that there would be so many copies sold, just for the joke factor alone, that they would re-coup their budget in the first weekend. Because by looking at the sets (the trains themselves change randomly in the middle of a scene!), the actors (if you can call them that, with only one other actor- the one with the very thin hair who hits on the one woman throughout the movie- who benefited from the flick being produced), the FX (also next to non-existent, making the effects in Snakes on a Plane seem like Star Wars), and the actual CGI snakes themselves, with the final huge behemoth snake something to behold in sci-fi movie channel terms.This all means, basically, that it is a laugh riot every step of the way (especially, as cruel as it sounds, when a little girl becomes involved in a snake's "attention"), with the very disregard for good taste working well in its favor. This being said, it is also 100% disposable, like a B-movie sour-flavor lollipop.
wozels1102
This is one of the funniest movies ever made. And for those of you who don't get it, it's supposed to be funny. So often comedies try to be so intentionally funny that it misses, but here is finally a movie that succeeds in being hilarious in the most subtle of ways. Even "spoofs" lack the originality and natural feel of this film. It is a comedic classic that will surely be appreciated in another time when studios are fdoing this sort of thing regularly. kudos to the makers, and to a hilariously subtle cast of actors, including Isaac Wade, whose performances is top-notch. Truly, a real break-out star performance by an true underrated stage actor. It'll be great to see this guy get his due.
