GamerTab That was an excellent one.

Majorthebys Charming and brutal

Humbersi The first must-see film of the year.

Sienna-Rose Mclaughlin The movie really just wants to entertain people.

MoodyB84 St. Georges Day is a debut effort written and directed by eloquent and softly spoken Shakespearean thespian Frank Harper, famous for his roles in The Football Factory and Lock. Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (Guy Ritchie, 2008), and let us not forget his scene stealing performance as the bank robber in Kevin and Perry Go Large (Ed Bye, 2000). I thoroughly enjoyed Dexter Fletcher's (who is, of course, briefly in this) directorial debut Wild Bill last year, so maybe this could be another enjoyable treat. He seems to have persuaded all his mates to be in it, the only ones missing are Danny Dyer and Tamer Hassan; maybe they were performing Hamlet at the Old Vic during filming? Well...I will come back to term 'enjoyable' later if I may? First, a quick review:It seems Frank Harper has certainly learnt a few things while starring in all these geezer films, in basically that he has cut and pasted all the clichéd plots from these and stuck them all together in what is an absolute narrative mess. This film received consistently horrific reviews, and I have to admit that they are all deserved. St. Georges Day is the most possibly generic and clichéd 'cockeney gangster' film you could imagine. Every cliché in terms of plot and characters is there to see in full clunky and embarrassing glory. I am not going to list them here, but anyone who watches this will be ticking them off in their head almost involuntarily. As for the dialogue, co-written by Frank himself, when there are lines such as "The Price is Right? This isn't the game show you c**t!" or "Two words: Angry Russians", it is basically Eastenders with swearing. There is a also a very insular and quite racist approach to this film, such as the typical evil Russian gangsters and double crossing Dutch drug dealers. However, what becomes really embarrassing is Frank Harper's deluded sense of patriotism that comes out within the script, there are many occasions where he compares their drugs operation and how they are going to sort out the mess they created to strategies deployed by Churchill and the British armies in both of the world wars. This is both insulting and rather embarrassing to watch; as we have to remember that these men are criminals despite whatever 'moral code' they follow. There are many voice-over scenes, usually with Frank Harper looking pensive on some riverside where he tries to justify to us why he is essentially a criminal. He often mentions things like 'loyalty' and tells us that he never killed anyone that "didn't deserve it or would have done the same thing to him". No Frank, you are criminals, you are not the good guys. Even the police are portrayed as bad guys for simply doing their job; does Frank really think we are that stupid? Also, it is worth saying that Keeley Hazell stars in her debut film role and is shocking, though let us face it, she is not there for her acting is she? She also plays Mickey's girlfriend and there are many scenes where Frank Harper gets to kiss her. Hang on! Isn't Frank Harper writer, actor, director and producer? Indeed he is. Oh, Frank, you dirty old man! However, her character as 'Peckham Princess' (No, me neither) is beyond caricature, as with all the women here who are simply portrayed in a shamefully misogynistic way. However, this just adds to the list of generic narrow minded stereotyping like evil Russians, drugged up crazy Dutch people, angry Scottish people etc. Now, I will return to the phrase 'enjoyable', and though I may well be contradicting what I have previously just said, but I must confess that I found St. Georges Day extremely enjoyable. This does come with a proviso though: If you take St. Georges Day with a pinch of salt, and when you see a cast list like that (maybe with the exception of Charles Dance – maybe a marketing ploy?) how on earth can you take this film seriously? I went into this film expecting ridiculous nonsense and was not disappointed; I must confess that it frequently made me laugh. It is obvious that Frank Harper thinks he is making the Citizen Kane of British gangster films. St. Georges Day takes itself so ridiculously seriously; this almost makes it even funnier to watch. You never laugh with it, but frequently at it and because of this I will confess that I actually really enjoyed it, though certainly not for any of the reasons dear old (now officially an auteur) Frank Harper would want. In summary: Predictable, clichéd, crap. This is the definitive British gangster film in that every cliché and caricature is there to see, all put together by the chunkiest script imaginable. However, this may well be (unintentionally) one of the funniest British films of recent years.

Alex Heaton (azanti0029) I was keen to see the this film, having heard a great deal about it when it was in pre-production, and the premise for the movie sounded interesting. During a football match between Germany and the UK, while the Police would have their hands full, a great diamond heist would be attempted by a London Firm. So far, so modern 'Italian Job'. A good idea that wasn't an American movie or a re-make. We've had a fair few gangster turkeys thrown our way in recent years, but this one had promise. It's the directing debut of 'Frank Harper' and with the team he assembled, it would be a good film. So I approached it with probably more enthusiasm than others that have reviewed here and will be as constructive as I can. The good: The cinematography is really nice, wide and sweeping shots make the best of the locations of London, Amsterdam and Berlin, though some of them serve no purpose. While the film looks nice and is slick, unfortunately the bad really lets it down. The story revolves around a London firm made up of two brothers and numerous other characters. Head of the firm is Micky (Harper himself). The dialogue in the first twenty minutes leaves you wincing, with the F word thrown into every line in abandon, with less effect the more frequently it is used - Yes we know cockneys and bad boys swear a lot, but sometimes less really is more. Characters have their own catch phrases 'Let me stop you right there son…' which I am guessing was to establish the familiar nature they have with each other to comical effect but falls painfully flat and sometimes is just embarrassing. The basic premise of the film, a heist under the cover of a football game doesn't really happen until the last quarter of the film, because our characters have to be placed in peril first in order to make the heist a necessity, fair enough, but it takes so long to get there that the heist itself almost feels inconsequential. There is also no real feel of a football game really taking place in Germany, making me wonder why the producers didn't wait until there was one and grab a couple of cameras and go out and film a ton of footage that could have been used to emphasise that there was a UK presence in the country, one shot of extras walking down grey steps (Which could be anywhere) isn't enough to demonstrate this, nice though it maybe. There is talk of days of a better England back in the day, and reference to Henry V but when someone says 'Hey you're never believe it, the job is on Saint George's Day' that's where the relevance of the title begins and ends. A subplot involving a 'grass' in the firm and another brothers attempt to leave and start a new life try to add some humanity to the story but one adds little and the other is left unresolved in a very unrealistic way when you consider the rules of the universe here that Harper has created. None of this can really substitute for the fact there that there is no real build up, tension or drama to the very hollow ending. The variable acting really diminishes the effect of some of the characters as they struggle with the most banal dialogue imaginable. While the cast is filled out with some credible players such as Charles Dance (Who acts the pants off everyone he is in a scene with) and good indie britflick regulars Maskell, Fairbrass and Walters (A far better actor than the roles he is often given) who do their best but everyone struggles with the poor material. Vincent Reagen is so underused he might as well not have been there. Sean Pertwee is suitably sleazy as a bent copper but Jamie Foreman almost looks like he has stepped out of another time period as Micky's Policeman nemesis and Nick Moran is embarrassingly posh as a rich business yuppie. (Because anyone who isn't hard or cockney must be rich and irritating) Not all the dialogue is terrible, there were one or two moments of brilliance here and there but they were lost. Other reviews have mentioned the long tracks of voice-over, all of it Harper himself, leaving you in no doubt that he is the main architect of this creation. Much of it really isn't needed - things are explained in such a perfunctory way, when really the trust should have been placed in the actors to deliver much of this information. In 'Harpers world' female characters are reduced to being 'wets' or dumb blonde's to put it politely, and while I am not denying that such characters exist, it doesn't mean a film needs to be over populated with them to prove the point, nor does it make for good viewing. Yes, your target audience might be young men in the 18 to 40 age bracket who watch football and read lads mags but that doesn't mean you have to reduce every female in your story to their perception of a good night out. The Long Good Friday is given a mention in the script here, so it's worth noting one of the things that makes that movie so great is Helen Mirren's character. There are no such rivals for her crown here, women being reduced to meaningless bimbo's or drug couriers. I really wanted to like this film, and it had such promise but for his debut Harper really should have trusted in a good writer and cast himself in a more supporting role and lets other share in what could have been a great deal of glory of a good film. Alas here, as we are reminded so often in the credits (Both at the beginning and at the end of the film in case we somehow forgot) , this is a film of Harpers making.

davideo-2 STAR RATING: ***** Saturday Night **** Friday Night *** Friday Morning ** Sunday Night * Monday MorningMicky Mannock (Frank Harper) has been talked into doing a cocaine deal with some Russian mobsters, while his cousin Ray Collishaw (Craig Fairbrass) is trying to go straight, and particularly doesn't want to work with said Russians. But he gets talked in anyway, and then the sh!t really hits the fan when the drugs are lost in high seas. The already fragile alliance he had with the Russians is now in tatters, and they end up at war, while to solve the problem co conspirator Albert Ball (Vincent Regan) suggests a diamond smuggling from Amsterdam, whilst other factions of their group get involved in a big football ruckus in Germany- on St. George's Day.Over the last decade or so, the British Film Industry has created a sort of cult following of these crime/gangster films. One of the more familiar faces to have become known among them is big cockney lad Frank Harper, and with this he marks his directorial debut. It's clear he was working with a very low budget, surprising given the all star cast list on offer here, but with no A list names on board (the closest to big time seemingly Charles Dance in a supporting role), it feels more like a collaboration between mates rather than an all star, sweeping epic. And you only have to watch it to feel this more so.I must admit I haven't done my best job with the plot summary, but it all just feels so convoluted and disjointed that it was the best I could do. It ends up coming off as a boring, uninteresting gangster story, with all the usual clichés of the genre thrown in without thought and without even any decent violence to satisfy the more immoral of the audience, or even justify the 18 certificate. After all this, as it draws to a close, the film has the nerve to become self indulgent, dragging on well over the hour and a half mark.Mr. Harper may have a presence that makes him a favourite of Nick Love and the like, but from this evidence it's clear directing really isn't his forte. *

January39 I gave this 10 pure and simple to balance the low score we see on IMDb (would have been 9 anyway) Quality film, I loved it.You will read reviews of cliché's and there are some, but I mean how many times can a gangster film be made without suffering that? answers on a postcard. I was hooked from start to finish all actors do there job tightly although not to sure on the casting of Jamie Foreman as 'nixon' it's not that he does it badly, but he's a bad guy - always will be.Zlatko Buric as 'Vlad' is brilliant, he starred in all 3 pusher films and in the UK remake and he is so effective in the role I almost think he really is a big time dealer - Oscar material for sure.There are some holes in the plot and some loose ends but none detract from the story, if anything they feel a little fudged - the Russian passenger on the drug run, errr what? the 2 deaths of the fans found in the skip bin, I watched all the film and I can't recall either of them, who killed them - assume the Russians but not totally sure? I could see the ending coming a mile off and I think we all will but give it a chance despite these minor flaws and you will be surprised, how this got only 4.3 on IMDb is beyond me it deserves much more.I can't recommend this enough, please watch it and don't just be swallowed on a IMDb rating.Yes, it is a clone of lock stock. Yes, it has holes. Yes, it has some apples and pears BUT it is a good tale, done well.Kudos to director - I loved it. Credit to all cast inc Craig Fairbrass as he is severely underrated actor and not the 1st time I have thought that, how he does not have a bigger career is beyond me. Nick Moran plays a minor role in the film and tbh he is totally underused, maybe I might have removed those scenes?? BTW the cast is a who's who of gangster films but then they are the best and you will have seen them all in one film or another... is that a bad thing I don't think so.10/10 for me. Loved it. Certainly be watching this one again