Humaira Grant It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Nayan Gough A great movie, one of the best of this year. There was a bit of confusion at one point in the plot, but nothing serious.

Kaydan Christian A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

Bob This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

jlpicard1701E First of all: bad acting, bad acting, bad acting.Need I say more?OK then... let's see.A movie that lasts barely 90 minutes which has a 10 minutes title opening.Got the picture?Nothing mind shattering is happening during the opening. Just a lot of bla-bla delivered as badly as these actors (and actresses) ever could.The director must have had "Dune" in mind, since this picture opens with a female narrator and goes on and on about a story that those ho ever watched the original one well remember.It was probably done for those affected by Alzheimer's disease (poor sods...).The rest is not even close to a sequel. Just a lot of "macho" acting, some stupid giggling around for no reason and a story line (if one can call it that) that is as confused as the rest of this movie.I believe the writers of this homunculus of a movie must have sniffed too much cocaine, or meth, and have just read comics, instead of true literature.I am aware that there are some around here and elsewhere, who have praised the sequel as "solid". I don't know where they were while watching this, or what kind of other distraction may have confused their minds, but they apparently never really watched a truly well made movie, and I do not mean a blockbuster movie - just a well directed and acted one - there are some low budget movies that have astonished me in my own lifetime, but not this one.This is simply trash, despite the presence of Kevin Sorbo and Lee Horsley (who also starred in the original one).Sorry to disappoint you all with my own view, but if I had had the money, I would certainly have produced a much better and more inventive movie than this one.So, in short, if you want to watch it go on and do it. If you like it, the better for you.My copy landed in the trash bin and into oblivion as it should have been when produced...

the-zombie-pirate Half of this movie is told by the guy who shows you his skilled but completely unrealistic drawings while you are trying to play an RPG at the local game shop. Meanwhile, you are ignoring the only attractive female in the place who is a witch casting a spell on you to give her all of your money. You manage to shift your attention to your GM who is really an ancient cyborg vampire who defeated the great robot king Albazarek in the fearsome robot wars of antiquity ushering in the age of man so that the vampires could feast on their blood in the darkness, but that is a story for another time. Your character is a half assed chaotic good human fighter that you hurriedly threw together while your mother talked about how she got the stains out of your underwear. Why can't she leave you alone? You're thirty-eight and obviously busy with something important! The GM spent little time describing the players' surroundings and left you to grope about an empty world trying to make sense of tons of useless background story. Then you notice a D4 on the floor that your skilled eye knows is a holy caltrop +3 from the demonic baby plague that ruined the future, but that is a story for another time...

hiller_simon In the empire of Abelar, things are a total mess. The vampires have taken over, and Princess Tanis has been tasked with seeking out her real father. No, not the king, but a mercenary, Oda (?) (Michael Pare), who boasts that his sword is ever poised for a new adventure -- an unsubtle euphemism to mean he'll sow his seed in whatever furrow allows him to plough it. It seems Oda is the only man with the steel enough to stand up to the vampires and drive them out single-handedly.Well, not single-handedly, but once he's found he'll be joined by no less than five of his bastard children, each a half-sibling to the others. All of them are comely wenches, save for Kevin Sorbo's characterwho's not above coming on to Princess Tanis despite their familial bond.This travesty from Albert Pyun -- the same director who gave us a less-than-super "Captain America" -- is a sequence of medieval sets that have very little connecting them. Fortunately, we have several interruptions where a vampiress soliliquizes about what will happen between the scenes that we witness. And we have more scenes where Michael Pare discourses with two other mercenaries against a cloudy background to give even more backstory -- which allows for the presumption that there's a story at all.If you want to see badly pantomimed action scenes, the occasional glimpse of breasts, trick- or-treat quality vampire attacks, and a set with the budget of Star Trek -- the original series, not the film -- then "Tales of an Ancient Empire" may be for you. Maybe the both of you can enjoy it together. It's all green screen done so poorly you expect a toaster to fly by.The bonus features on this release include the original trailer for the film, and a forty-minute compilation of cast interviews, with questions posed by someone who was obviously struck when interviewing the females of the cast, many of whom were seen topless in the film.After a dismal "Captain America" and a laughable "The Sword and the Sorcerer," maybe it's time for Albert Pyun to hang up the camera. From beyond, Ed Wood cheers him on.

Expresso_Kid This type of production should be illegal. It's a waste of money, that could have fed many starving children somewhere in the world. It has no entertainment value. Mostly it seems like a group of former porn film actors had decided to make a non-porn film, but failed miserably. Sure you get to see some tits(which is probably the reason why some praise the movie), but even the tits are as bad in quality as the movie itself.Val Kilmer? Where? The Val Kilmer I remember was an actual actor! Not a wanna-be porn star.What I liked about the film, was that it was on DVD, so I could speed it up to finish it sooner. Breathtakingly bad movie.