CrawlerChunky In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

TaryBiggBall It was OK. I don't see why everyone loves it so much. It wasn't very smart or deep or well-directed.

Catangro After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

Brooklynn There's a more than satisfactory amount of boom-boom in the movie's trim running time.

Marco Trevisiol Considering the array of dramatic and comedic talent in the cast of 'The Baby and The Battleship' - Richard Attenborough, John Mills, Lionel Jeffries, Michael Horden, John Le Mesurier, Kenneth Griffith, Gordon Jackson and more - you would think it would be impossible for the film not to have some entertainment value. But this film pretty much achieves it.Displaying all the worst aspects of mid-1950s British cinema, the film snoozes through by falling back on dreary Italian stereotypes and the most uninteresting bunch of sailors you're ever likely to come across.Most baffling of all, after all the effort a group of sailors put into hiding the baby from the authorities when it is discovered it doesn't really seem an issue at all!The best that can be said about the film is that the child in the central role gives a good performance.A real disappointment.

Spikeopath When your light airy comedy can boast Richard Attenborough and John Mills as its leads, well it's in safe hands as a time filler at least. The Baby And The Battleship is one of those affable comedies that filtered out of Shepperton Studios from time to time back in the day. Always crammed with stock British talent, they serve as a reminder, much like the Pinewood Studios comedies released in the same time frame, of simple honest enjoyment. No frills or attempts at insulting the viewers intelligence, they existed (exist) purely as a medium to be sampled without the need for dissection or deeper themed meanings (like some of Ealing's comedies for example).This effort revolves around two sailors, Knocker (Attenborough) and Puncher (Mills), who while on shore leave find themselves baby minding the brother of Knocker's Italian fiancée, the 13th born in the family no less! After a big punch up in the city, Puncher wakes up to find everyone has gone except the baby, who is still sitting in the last place Puncher had left him. Fretting and unable to find Knocker 9who's off with his lady searching elsewhere), Puncher smuggles the baby on board his ship and promptly enlists his ship mates to help him. Cue much mirth as first the ship sails leaving Knocker AWOL on shore, and secondly as macho sailors try to temporarily raise the child whilst simultaneously keeping him hidden from the ship's superiors; something that proves most definitely hard to do.As one can reasonably expect with a cast containing two of Great Britain's treasures, the acting is value for money. Backed up by a ships roll call consisting of Bryan Forbes, Michael Hordern, Michael Howard, Lionel Jeffries, John Le Mesurier and Gordon Jackson, it's easy to see why this comedy was steered safely into port. Also having some nice outer location work at Abattoir Wharf in Corradino, Malta, is a plus as well. The Baby And The Battleship probably isn't a film you would want to watch time and time again, but hey, sometimes once is enough to leave a safe and favourable impression. 6/10

ianlouisiana In it's perverse way,"The baby and the battleship" is a small masterpiece. It is the archetypal Lower Deck comedy,replete with Shepperton Cockneys wise in the way of the world,Dartmouth Naval College types who think - mistakenly -that they actually run the ship and noisy over-exciteable foreigners (in this case Italians) for our boys to patronise cheerily. As a bonus there is an Admiral who looks and sounds as if he has escaped from a touring production of" H.M.S.Pinafore".He is played by Mr D.A.Clarke - Smith who was 68 years old at the time and sported a monocle. He treats AWOL seaman Knocker White (Sir Richard Attenborough) as if he was a schoolboy caught with a catapult in his pocket and he made me laugh more in his five minutes screen time than the entire oeuvre of Rowan Atkinson. Puncher(Sir John Mills) a former navy boxing champion is Knocker's oppo(see how easy it is to fall into this navy argot?).They go ashore in Italy to see a former girl-friend and her family and through a series of what can only be termed unfortunate events the youngest member of her family(the eponymous "baby") ends up aboard ship. This is the cue for a number of jolly japes and wizard wheezes that date back at least to the Will Hay era.Sir John Mills is rather touching as the naive (and just a tad punchy) former fighter.If he is not entirely convincing he certainly makes a better job of it than his fellow theatrical namesake Sir John Gielgud would have done. Many much-loved British comedy stalwarts thoroughly enjoy themselves throughout.Lionel Jeffries,Harry Locke and Duncan Lamont excel amongst the O.R.s,Michael Hordern,Ernest Clarke and Thorley Walters liven things up on the bridge.I thought I spotted Patrick Cargill,but he isn't credited. Bryan Forbes,impossibly young and handsome,plays the university graduate National Serviceman and possibly wrote some of the funniest dialogue. "The baby and the battleship" is by no means cutting edge cinema,no envelope-pushing here,thank you.It is an average Brtish service comedy of half a century ago,with most of the cast long gone to the great Audition Room in the sky.Films like this are no longer made:small-scale homely family comedies with audience-friendly stars and a supporting cast of familiar faces,made for £4.50 in three weeks. Until they make a comeback(and don't hold your breath)you can watch "The baby and the battleship" with an exquisite mixture of pleasure and nostalgia.And please feel free to laugh unreservedly for,as the commentator said in "The Golden Age of Comedy",ghosts may be listening.

doire The Baby and The Battleship is one of those movies that can be instantly forgotten about as soon as the end credits roll. It is an innocent film for an innocent audience - no blood, no gore, no violence, no profanity, no sex, no anything much. Still, it is worth a look, if only to spot some famous names in the days of their relative youth - Richard Attenborough, John Mills, John Le Mesurier, et.al. Not great nor terribly funny but it does have a few light-hearted moments that warm the heart.