The Child I Never Was

2002 "What Becomes a Serial Killer Most?"
6.8| 1h21m| en
Details

A serial killer dispassionately discusses the nuts and bolts of his grisly avocation, as well as the youthful traumas which helped to mold him into a psychopath, in this disturbing independent drama from Germany, based on the true story of of Germany's most famous child murderer Juergen Bartsch who, between the ages of 15 and 19, abused, tortured and killed four schoolboys in the Ruhr region of Germany from 1962 to 1966.

AD
AD

Watch Free for 30 Days

All Prime Video Movies and TV Shows. Cancel anytime. Watch Now

Trailers & Clips

Reviews

Softwing Most undeservingly overhyped movie of all time??
Robert Joyner The plot isn't so bad, but the pace of storytelling is too slow which makes people bored. Certain moments are so obvious and unnecessary for the main plot. I would've fast-forwarded those moments if it was an online streaming. The ending looks like implying a sequel, not sure if this movie will get one
Kodie Bird True to its essence, the characters remain on the same line and manage to entertain the viewer, each highlighting their own distinctive qualities or touches.
Aspen Orson There is definitely an excellent idea hidden in the background of the film. Unfortunately, it's difficult to find it.
Horst in Translation ([email protected]) Now it may only be personal perception, but when I hear the German title "Ein Leben Lang Kurze Hosen Tragen", I think of a relatively light mix of drama and comedy, maybe a coming-of-age film. But this is none of that at all. My guess couldn't be any more wrong. This is a mix of drama and thriller with crime references from start to finish. It is the most known work by writer and director Kai S. Pieck who adapted Paul Moor's book here and also includes direct quotes by Jürgen Bartsch, who is also the protagonist in here. We hear him reflect on his crimes, partially fictitious, partially actual words from Bartsch. I think this is one of the rare occasions when the screenplay and writing is not a problem at all. It was pretty well done I must say and I also liked the ending for example. But I still did not enjoy the watch. This has mostly to do with lead actor Tobias Schenke because from start to finish of this relatively short 80-minute movie I had the impression that I was watching Schenke and not Bartsch. I may be a bit biased here as I never saw a great deal of talent in Schenke, but also he did not manage to win me over with great material, a truly baity character and a pretty good script. And the younger version of Bartsch (many flashbacks) isn't any better. He is played by Sebastian Urzendowsky and he is on the same, maybe even higher, level of overrated for me compared to Schenke. Such a shame, they did not cast more capable actors here as there was certainly the possibility to make this a pretty memorable movie. It is basically with the exception of the previously mentioned flashbacks a one-man show for Schenke and while he had some solid moments, he wasn't up to the challenge to carry this film all alone on his shoulders. Eventually "The Child I Never Was" (the English title) is a relatively similar movie like "Der Totmacher", but in that one Götz George showed everybody what a difference a strong lead performance makes in relation to the overall outcome of the film. So yeah, it's fine this film was made if it gets people to take a look at who Bartsch was and what he did, but from a mere cinematic perspective I cannot recommend this one. I suggest you watch a documentary on him instead or just read the book this is based on. I give this movie a thumbs-down. Not recommended.
gradyharp Kai S. Peck is one courageous Director! He has created a very substantial and quite disturbing film about an actual bizarre serial killer and through the statements and letters of his subject and a book by Paul Moor and his astute directing he has been able to step over the sensationalism of his subject and open the door into the mind of a very ill person.THE CHILD I NEVER WAS (originally titled EIN LEBEN LANG KURZE HOSEN TRAGEN) is frighteningly based on fact. From 1962 through 1966 a fifteen-year-old boy named Jurgen Bartsch tortured, murdered, and then sexually molested four young German boys. This infamous serial killer is first introduced in a black and white sequence of Jurgen as a 20 year old (Tobias Schenke) in prison for his crimes. He frankly talks about his crimes, acknowledging their evil, but at the same time seeks to uncover his own motivations for having performed such deeds. Through a series of flashbacks we see Jurgen as a child and as a 15 year old (Sebastian Urgendowsky) and discover he was adopted by a couple who are bipolar parents - Gertrud (Ulrike Bliefert) and Gerhard (Walter Gontermann) Bartsch. Their parenting is brutally bounced from feigned kindness to flailing mistreatments. They do not allow Jurgen to have friends, to socialize, to have any interests. When Jurgen begins to get in touch with his sexuality, they foster care him and seek professional advice for his sickness of homosexuality.Young Jurgen is unable to relate to anyone and he yearns for friends. He discovers a cave where he can escape form his ugly world and fantasize about many things, including sexual fantasies about boys 'ages 8 through 14'. Gradually he gives in to his compulsion to seduce boys into his cave where he tortures them, eviscerates them, and once they are dead he has sexual acting out with them. At one point he seeks a priest's (Jürgen Christoph Kamcke) confession booth seeking absolution, but the priest only tells him that he must confess to the police and devote his life to charity. Eventually during his fourth episode of his serial madness he leaves his victim bound, disturbed that this boy actually seems to return Jurgen's bizarre sexual advances, and when he returns to the cave the boy has escaped. Jurgen is captured and imprisoned.The way in which the film resolves is actually touching in that from surprise confessions we grow to understand these serial murders on a certain level. To reveal these facts would hamper the suspense of the film. Suffice it to say that here is a sophisticated film unafraid to enter the darkest regions of a young man's mind and in doing so heightens our awareness of the fine line between response to personal abuse and madness. The cast is extraordinarily fine. Grady Harp
ninoguapo Shocking as it may be – this movie shows a unique viewpoint of a boy/ young man- the storyline is full with possible answers to the question – why Jürgen committed the horrible crimes portrayed in the movie.I can hardly believe that someone will see this movie and fill find the guilt in the only boy himself – the parents and the surroundings of Jürgen played their role too to shape his mentality. "…sad glimpses of the stunted boy inside the beast" was written in what review – and that seems to me the most important point of the film – but I wonder if too many people will be able to see trough …" The movie was disturbing indeed, especially since it is based on a true story. Some of the reviews I went trough about this movie were pointing out that the fact that Jürgen doesn't want to grow up is essential part of his "ill mentality " – and I strongly disagree with such opinion- what he did – those killings are evil , but they can not be associate with such desire of youthful life.
bkitchin-2 There is no question that this film is very disturbing and is not for many people. The director avoids the graphic, shock techniques of many other films. He doesn't rub our noses in the horror. This makes the actual dramatic effect of the tale he retells all the stronger. It is a horror that hits the mind rather than the stomach (at least for me). A lot of horror films have a near comedic element to them. This drama has none of that. It was quite stark.The facts are apparently true. The horrifying realization I came away with is that I could find no explanation for why he did what he did. But he did it. An original researcher into the confessions on which this is based suggested that the boy / young man may have been effectively messing with the heads of his captures and, eventually, us.It is clear that no answers, simple or complex, are provided. We are left to wonder where it all came from and whether it could have been avoided. As I said very disturbing.The directing and editing were quite excellent. While the movie had some color it was mostly black and white. This suited the mood of what was being presented. The acting of the younger character was quite good. Someone commented on having a problem with the 'confessions' of the older character. I thought they were well done and gave a flavor of what those who heard the confession probably heard. The confessions were not smoothed out for movie purposes. The cutting back and forth between the older and the younger character was very effective. A well done disturbing film.