Tockinit not horrible nor great

Brendon Jones It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Abegail Noëlle While it is a pity that the story wasn't told with more visual finesse, this is trivial compared to our real-world problems. It takes a good movie to put that into perspective.

Jenni Devyn Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

Comeuppance Reviews Troy McGreggor (Malcolm) is an inquisitive teen who just happens to find a map to a mystical lost city called Ziox while rummaging through some junk in his attic. Unfortunately, an evil cult run by the sinister Satoris (Marceau) want the map to aid them in their quest for world domination. As Troy flees from the cult, he runs into a beer-swilling, chain-smoking, denim-jacketed, mulleted, surly drifter inexplicably named Zap Rowsdower (Mitchell). While Zap is an overweight, embittered alcoholic, Troy is a rail-thin, squeaky-voiced dork. As the original odd couple, they must fend off the cult as they continue their Quest For the Lost City. But what's the secret behind the "Bowtie" tattoo? Find out tonight! Originally titled The Final Sacrifice (that's the title under which it was mocked/popularized by Mystery Science Theater 3000), AIP picked it up and retitled it for its VHS release in the U.S. As part of that, they had to get some models to do some posed shots that have nothing to do with the movie, as often happens with VHS covers of the 80's/early 90's. Those people you see on the cover are certainly not Zap and Troy.To have the character of Troy be the hero is an interesting choice - he's unbelievably skinny, wears a nerdy red sweater with a white-collar shirt underneath the entire movie, and his voice sounds like someone puree-ing a dying bird on High. But then to match him with Zap is just...an amazing decision. This guy is Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force ten years before Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. He's such a raving alcoholic, there's actually a scene where Troy fights the cult by using a box of empty bottles of Zap's booze he just happens to have in the back of his pickup truck. Some have guns, some have swords, but Zap was on his way to the bottle return to get his five-cent exchanges. Should be enough to put the kibosh on a sinister cult bent on taking over the planet.You know Satoris is evil because he has a black trenchcoat. This movie once again is ahead of the curve as it predates the trenchcoat mafia. That being said, there is an entirely separate credit for "Satoris' Makeup" during the end credits. His minions are guys in black tank tops and executioner hoods. This may remind you of Bad Taste (1987), where the baddies have blue shirts. But it's a clever move because the masks allow some repetition of goons without the viewer knowing. But the question remains why director/co-writer Tjardus Greidanus thought audiences would rally behind a big-eared dweeb and a bloated hobo as the movie's central heroes.It's Canadian, it's low-budget, and it's somewhat mysterious (that it was edited by "The Flying Dutchman" adds to the mystique). You could tell they were trying, and they got this movie out there. That's commendable. It's more than the people who mean-spiritedly ridicule this movie will ever do (except maybe MST3K).While it's not entirely representative of the AIP canon, and we wouldn't necessarily say to go out of your way to pick this up, if you see it somewhere, like a thrift store or something like that, grab it. It's a lot of fun with a group of pals.For more action insanity, please visit: www.comeuppancereviews.com

Bloodwank There are some films that I watch and think, the makers did this just because they could. Had some camera gear knocking around, a few friends and they decided to put a film together. Some films I watch and think, the makers really wanted to do something here, something big, and usually there are references and a faint sheen of pretension over everything. The Final Sacrifice comes across as a different kind of beast though, a film made by people who just had to make a movie, people compelled by the muse and having some fun in the process. I get this feeling because plotwise, this is the sort of thing an imaginative 8 year old might doodle out for an English assignment, its the stuff of young day dreams fed by matinée movies and naive dreams of adventure and significance. We have a young lead, Troy, whose father was killed some years back. Searching his attic he comes across notes and a strange map, perhaps key to his fathers death. Then a bunch of ski masked wrestlers attack his house, at which point he escapes and ends up tagging along the the gruff good doer Zap Rowsdower, from whom proceeds some explanation and the rest of the whole adventure. Its all pretty simple stuff, myth and adventure in snowy Canada, wrought on a tiny budget, but what stands out is the ambition and sense of fun. The house break in, a car chase, assorted fighting and suspense efforts, for all that the film is decidedly amateurish it really comes across as a work of love. The action is often amusing and sporadically raises mild excitement, which is handy too. Of course, for all the enthusiasm behind the camera things would work if the cast wasn't game, fortunately everyone seems to be giving it their all. Christian Malcolm comes across fine as young Troy, a nerdy kid in over his head but making the best of his adventure and it seems at times bemused a little beyond his years, bringing a touch of humour to proceedings. Chuckle worthy is the fact that he never addresses Rowsdower as Zap, only Rowsdower, as if even in his youth he can't contemplate calling a grown man Zap. Speaking of which, Bruce J. Mitchell is a blast as Rowsdower, channelling all manner of gruffly good hearted loners into his performance, making the character good fun to root for. He also has full and manly facial hair, which clearly makes him good. More chuckles are brought by a thickly accented Ron Anderson as another good doer, and of the mains, Shane Marceau rounds things out nicely as chief baddie Satoris, who has no facial hair and hence is clearly evil, but also comes off amusing like a sort of officious and irritating school prefect type, lacking anything but arbitrary authority but still cruelly throwing his weight around. Everyone makes an effort in a nutshell, and so for folk like me the film pulls through. It isn't "good" by any real standards, but it possesses quite a charm and never bores, in fact its often pretty fun. Proceed with caution, but a 6/10 from me.

dirk275 Somewhere in Alberta (Eagle Hat?), Troy MacGregor is trying to find out why his father was killed when he comes across a map of the Ziox civilization in his attic. He's not the only interested party however, and is chased by Satoris and his hooded thugs. Troy chances up with Zap Rowsdower(yikes) who just happened to be a member of the cult until he was kicked out. Zap seems to have an instant dislike for Troy,as did I, and tries to rid himself of him by turning him into the police. As events unfold, it turns out the pair are close to where the map places the city so Troy investigates. Soon they meet up with Mike Pipper, who is Troy's fathers former partner. He's also the filthiest, grimiest man ever to grace the screen. Troy is kidnapped by the cult so Zap is off to save him and the truth about what happened to Troy's dad comes out in one big happy Chevy pickup truck flavored ending.Alright, it all sounds like a great story, but really, it's not told all that well. I guess it was made by some college students on a bus fare budget, which actually seems to add to the appeal. All the characters are hilarious at best. Rowsdower is an out of shape drunk with awful hair. Troy is a stick thin nerd who fills out a red sweater like nobody's business. And of course there's Mike Pipper and Satoris. Pipper's voice must be heard to be believed and Satoris is just terrible as the villain.Still, I actually will watch this movie and kind of like it. I've seen the MST3K version and I love it, but I've also seen it without Mike and the bots. It has a certain charm to it. It's not good by any means but it's fun and fun to laugh at. All in all, I say give it a try if you can find it.

drscottjoseph This was episode 910 and one of my favorites.Oftentimes, my five year old son and I will have contests seeing which of us can say "Troy" in a deeper voice. It also has the great "Canada" song by Tom Servo.The movie has one briefly present female character, playing Troy's mom, grandmother or aunt---never made clear. Troy's dad bears a strong resemblance to the great Larry Czonka.A great bad film.Great riffs: "Rowsdower? Is that a stupid name?" "Can I discipline you?" "I'm losing track of all the crappy vehicles, Mike."By the way, the incidental music is the theme to "Wing Commander" the video game.