Teringer An Exercise In Nonsense

StyleSk8r At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

Brendon Jones It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.

Ezmae Chang This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

k_t_t2001 Sex sells. THE OLDEST PROFESSION (IN THE WORLD) is a both a film about selling sex and uses sex to sell itself. With the film divided into six segments with different storylines, directors and casts, how well it succeeds is something of a mixed bag. The first segment - "The Prehistoric Era" - is set in a vaguely Flintstonesesque stone age where a young woman (Michèle Mercier), spurned by the man she is infatuated with, takes her revenge in a way that introduces the concept of paying for sex into the world. There is the germ of something here, but this segment never really goes anywhere. Mercier is too petulant and capricious, the other performances too flat. The whole affair is basically a one joke setup, badly told. On the other hand, it does sell sex. With Michèle Mercier running around in an animal skin bikini for the duration, there is eye candy aplenty.For segment two - "Roman Nights" - we leap ahead a few hundred thousand years to Imperial Rome, in its decline. The Emperor Flavius (Gastone Moschin), depressed that the depleted state of the royal coffers prevents him from hosting a proper Roman orgy, sneaks off to an upscale public brothel, where he is at first shocked - and then excited - to discover that the woman he has just paid to have sex with is his moonlighting wife, the Empress Domitilla (Elsa Martinelli). In some ways this is perhaps the most disappointing segment. All the elements are here for what could have been a really enjoyable Carry-On style farce, but whole thing never really gels. Once again, the best thing about it is the eye candy. Elsa Martinelli - really only a supporting player - isn't given much to do, but she is afforded several glamour shots, and absolutely makes the most of them. She is utterly gorgeous here."Mademoiselle Mimi" takes us to France during the Reign of Terror. Mimi (Jeanne Moreau) is a successful prostitute/kept woman who seems to have nothing but contempt for the officials of the Committee of Public Safety who shower her with gifts - and proposals of marriage - but allows herself to be taken in by an obviously ersatz noble (Jean-Claude Brialy), claiming that he will inherit his uncle's vast estate, once said uncle loses his head to Madame Guillotine. If "Roman Nights" is the most disappointing segment because it fails to live up its potential, then "Mademoiselle Mimi" is the weakest, because it has none at all. The storyline is groan-worthy in its predictability, characters are uniformly unlikable and I found nothing at all to recommend about this segment. Frankly, I have never understood the appeal of Jeanne Moreau - either as one of France's supposedly great beauties or great actresses. On both counts - of her films I have seen - she consistently appears to have been at least a week without sleep, and her turn here does nothing to alter that impression.The film's most successful segment, "The Good Times", features Raquel Welch as Nini, an obviously upscale prostitute in pre WWI Vienna, who - lamenting the recent dearth of well-heeled clientele - settles one evening for a rather dull-looking middle-aged prospect (Martin Held). Back at an apartment that he has "borrowed from a friend", there is an exceedingly brief wham, bam, thank you, ma'am encounter, following which the john falls into a coma-like slumber and Nini prepares to depart. However, when in the process of helping herself to a few bills from the man's wallet, she finds business cards revealing that he is in fact a very wealthy banker, Nini is struck by inspiration and plots a long game, with her sights on the big brass ring at the end. "The Good Times" is light, amusing, well paced and pays off for both Nini and the audience at the end. Additionally, Raquel Welch - at the height of her - considerable - beauty is quite good as Nini. All in all, things are looking up as we jump ahead in time once again.Set in 1960's Paris, "Today" features France Anglade as Catherine, a modern day working girl, and Nadia Gray (playing a character called 'Nadia') as what is essentially her pimp - though that is decidedly too strong a term. Nadia is Catherine's manager, agent, enabler and chauffeur, but above all else, she is quite obviously her friend, and the relationship between the pair - and the shenanigans they get up to - has a very Lucy and Ethel feel to it. When Catherine suffers a setback due to an error in judgment in the course of her professional activities, it is Nadia - during a detour in the storyline - who comes up with the unconventional idea of conducting business in an ambulance. Of course, in typical Lucy and Ethel fashion, on their first night out in their new brothel on wheels, Catherine and Nadia catch the attention of the gendarmes and comedic panic ensues. "Today" is a thoroughly enjoyable segment, with engaging, likable characters and performances, broader humor and plenty of energy.From the fluff and fun of "Today" the film shifts to the far future, and the film's final segment, with Jean-Luc Godard's "Anticipation". Set in a - literally - colourless and dystopian future, an ambassador from another galaxy (Jacques Charrier) discovers that existence on Earth has become so rigid and specialized that a prostitute he can have sex with (Marilù Tolo) cannot speak and a prostitute who can speak (Anna Karina) cannot have sex. Unsatisfied with either option, he introduces a new idea into this bleak world. This segment is so tonally out of sync with the rest of the film that it is very hard to render judgment on it. "Anticipation" is not a comedy. There are absurd elements, but while they might - possibly - elicit a slight smile, there is nary a chuckle to be found. Depending upon how charitable you are inclined to be, thematically and stylistically, "Anticipation" is really only an encapsulation or a rehashing of Godard's ALPHAVILE.The US cut of THE OLDEST PROFESSION is some twenty minutes shorter than the European original and these trims are decidedly detrimental to the film. For the most part why these cuts were performed is incomprehensible to me, however in "Anticipation", they are blatantly made to remove the nudity that is unique to the Godard segment. Unnecessary colour tinting is added to this segment for the exact same reason.A film that could only have been made in the 1960's - that odd era with its strange mix of "modern" sexual liberation and old-fashioned pre-feminism - as a whole, THE OLDEST PROFESSION (IN THE WORLD) is an example of a film's reach exceeding its grasp. There are things to like about it, but there are plenty of missed opportunities as well. It is a film worth seeing, but with properly moderated expectations.

siteslinger This film is definitely worth seeing. The film is made up of six sketches by six directors, each revolving around the theme of - you guessed it - the world's oldest profession: prostitution. It begins with a ridiculous segment that explains the origins of cosmetics as a primitive stone age invention.The acting throughout is not good but in a very entertaining way, that is, until Raquel Welch is on screen. She is better than ever and I almost wished her segment would not end, not knowing what was to unfold later in the film.After a few more lightly entertaining segments, the film takes a considerably different tone. In fact, it's a sonic jolt that filled me with tension and excitement. I first saw this movie on Quentin Tarantino's 35mm print, and had no prior knowledge of it's existence. So, naturally, I was surprised to see Godard's name appear at the beginning of the last segment, entitled Anticipation. Among these mostly light-hearted and ridiculous comedy segments was one of the coolest things I've ever seen. At first, I thought the mention of Godard's name was a joke. The story is set in the future and is meant to depict prostitution in the years to come. It is, characteristic of Godard, unlike anything you would expect. I won't give away any details, for the experience is best seen fresh, and makes this movie worth seeing for Godard's segment alone. Come for Raquel, and stay for Godard.

LeRoyMarko Sketch film. 6 segments telling the history of prostitution through ages. The one I liked the most: Jean-Luc Godard's Anticipation. Great imaginative work, with the use of black and white to amplify segment. I also liked Claude Autant-Lara's segment (Aujourd'hui) and Franco Indovina (L'Ère préhistorique). It's also a film that showcases the most beautiful actresses from the time: Anna Karina, Elsa Martinelli, Jeanne Moreau, etc.Out of 100, I gave it 78. That's good for **½ out of **** stars.Seen at home, in Toronto, on February 14th, 2004.

Varlaam There are any number of reasons why someone might be interested in seeing this film.The premise probably isn't one of them: it's a comedy about the history of prostitution in six episodes. The credits are the attraction: One of the segments is directed by Godard and features his usual star/spouse Anna Karina. Another is by Philippe de Broca with Jeanne Moreau and Jean-Claude Brialy. Other cast members include Raquel Welch, Elsa Martinelli, Marcel Dalio in one of his last roles, and Jean-Pierre Léaud who has so often played François Truffaut's alter ego, Antoine Doinel, and is one of the fully clothed characters from "Last Tango in Paris" (1972). There's Disappointment #1: Léaud has only a very small, non-speaking part.Two of the six segments are very weak, the one set in modern day Paris, and the prehistoric one. Neither is especially funny. The former has Dalio in a small role as a lawyer. The latter is not much better than Ringo Starr in "Caveman" from 1981 (although Michèle Mercier is an improvement on Barbara Bach).The French Revolutionary episode is the one directed by de Broca, and fairly well in fact. Now, the English language version of this film is dubbed. I got the feeling that this segment would be fairly funny in a subtitled version; the dubbing throws the comic timing off a little bit. In a 15-minute sketch, there's not a tremendous amount to work with but Jeanne Moreau is good under the circumstances. J-C Brialy is a little subdued compared to a more animated performance of his which I saw recently, in Claude Chabrol's "Les cousins" (1959). If they'd had a bit more luck, or savoir-faire, or something, they might have created a French answer to "Start the Revolution Without Me" (1970).Raquel Welch stars in the most amusing episode, relatively speaking. It's apparently set in 1890's Vienna (Emperor Franz Josef is on the paper money). One could probably say that Raquel's greatest classic role was as the injured party in the "Cannery Row" lawsuit. Finely nuanced she was not, normally. But she makes an appealing light comedienne here, and she can really fill a lacy Viennese corset. The Belle Époque it assuredly was.There is an oddly un-debauched episode set in the days of the Roman Empire. The Emperor visits the proverbial House of Marcus Lycus -- see "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum" (1966) for its Borscht Belt view of Ancient Rome -- only to find the Empress moonlighting there. The episode itself is rather unaccomplished, but the Empress is played by the exquisite Elsa Martinelli who may never have looked better than she does here -- a thousand ships, skin like alabaster, lips like carbuncles, all that sort of thing. Elsa's flair for comedy has had more room for expression elsewhere, but, by Jupiter, she looks like a million sesterces.By far the most interesting episode is the one directed by Jean-Luc Godard. Its humour is bone dry -- in a century still to come, when the Soviets appear to be running things, you'll need a wrench to remove a woman's clothes. (Will that be imperial or metric?)It's surprising considering the film's subject matter, but this is the only episode to contain actual nudity and even then it's done in photographic negative.Shot at Orly Airport in Paris, the segment is in a tinted monochrome. Combine this with its bleak, futuristic outlook, and I was reminded of Chris Marker's "La jetée" (1962). Was that intentional? The story switches to colour once the lovers kiss.The overall feel of the film is quite a lot like that striving-to-be-naughty "Love, American Style" television programme from 1969. Call it "Love, European Style". Only in its poor English transfer, it is definitely less successful. I wonder if there's any connection between the two?