Ignoratio Elenchi
My viewing of this film left me in some considerable agony. My sides ached, and spots floated before my vision. My voice was hoarse from my exultant shouts of derision. I expected nothing in the way of quality or craft, and got gloriously less. I would not miss this film for the world, despite its best efforts to confuse and disgust me. This film is a masterpiece of insanity. Featured within are such delights as amateurish yet fetish-driven character models, an alternately worthless and disruptive supporting cast, and the star of the show Puss 'n' Boots himself, played by one William Shatner who goes to great lengths to avoid recognition or, indeed, approval. The musical numbers are not to be missed for any price. Oft during the film, such provocations as a chance meeting in a bar, the passing glance of the household toucan, or someone walking through a doorway would fling the characters into insane fits of vocalization and rhythmic conniptions, almost mistakable for song and dance. This was my favorite part during which to vomit.If you have been bereaved since exhausting the traditional list of masterwork films which features Troll 2, Plan 9 from Outer Space, and Flash Gordon (1980)¸ you shall be delighted to know that pieces of the same illustrious stock are still being produced. This gem hails from the year 2009, over 5 years after Shrek 2 popularized Puss, but it still boasts the cover art and pedigree needed to follow up on that handsome-cab of success and to scoop up the droppings of its horses. Gather your friends who most enjoy a good Schadenfreude flick, and let rip. I.E.'s RATING OF QUESTIONABLE SIGNIFICANCEThe absolute value of the difference between this film's quality rating (0-10) and the mediocrity reference score of 5 is * 5/5: An intense and memorable experience, well above/below the norm. * This gem must never be forgotten, however much you may like to.Mentions of certain characters follow hereafter. POSSIBLE LIGHT SPOILERS lurk beyond!Puss 'n' Boots was the sad offspring of a fetish and a fart, springing about in inane antics and generally disrupting the flow of the film by his absurd tendency to be the subject of it. Shatner's delivery for this character's voice was one-of-a-kind. It showcased that kind of weak falsetto Granddad uses to voice Ridinghood's grandma for the hundredth time, interspersed with the pained hisses and growls which Shatner emits as the few remaining tatters of his dignity are pincered from his soul. The fact that this final devolution and wreckage of a star is caught on tape will be one of the enduring legacies of our age. The writer now must note: The film had a multi-million dollar budget. We can assume that a good bit was spent on the animation, which after all is overall fairly unimpeachable. We must deduce that the remainder of the budget went directly into Mr. Shatner's pocket, his name being the sole redeeming element of the cover and credit reel. By all indications, the director of this film accepted whatever William deigned to provide: no human being could have possibly envisioned the resulting voice track as the one perfect characterization of Puss. So must we assume that Shatner pocketed *several million* for a single, lazy take.The reviewer therefore retracts any aspersions relating to the good name and dignity of Mr. Shatner. He acted after that ancient dream of man's deepest heart: to gain fat stacks in return for one afternoon's (minimally effacing) goofership. Good money if you can get it, and more power to him.A protagonist exists. He is called Peter, and he owns the titular Puss. His goal in the story is to do whatever the cat tells him. He eventually develops the perfunctory interest in the perfunctory princess, yet essentially keeps his perpetually morose eyes locked on his feet as if trying to find out where they're taking him, and why along such sparkly boot-prints.The wondrous non-hit "La La La etc." is our introduction to the princess, whose physical shape is the product of a very desperate concept artist considering a viola for too long. Her propensity to commit wanton singing, her deep and abiding contempt for the protagonist, and her toleration of the subtle and sympathetic villain (gag) combine to form one of the most aggravating characters conceivable within the limits of a sane mind.The Villainous Court Chamberlain reads like a book, making the film easier to comprehend for audiences other who lack the benefits of being young children. The Chamberlain is jealous of the princess, is physically unattractive, and has very stupid hair. He is otherwise nearly visually indistinguishable from this reviewer. Oddly, no character ever explicitly mentions that he is, in fact, a bloodthirsty goblin. This is not the only case of either mass blindness or lack of essential discrimination: At no point in the film does a character think it amiss that the protagonist's cat is a perverted, irritating, lying, manipulative guttersnipe.The Court Jester: The princess's confidant is a horrible little imp with an incongruously soft, babyish face. He idly climbs columns and capers atop items as a monkey is wont, but always with the same somber judgment in his eyes, preventing any hilarity at his antics. His involvement in the film's affairs is mostly aimed to the perpetual virginity and enhanced haughtitude of said princess. The jester is more terrifying a monster than I have ever imagined.Quotes:The Villain, in conversation: "DO YOU LIKE TOADS? GIGANTIC, OOZING TOADS?" Peter, long after it had become the sole driving force in his life: "I can't tell the truth; I promised my cat!" The villain, and me the next time I find myself at a loss: "I HATE YOUNG MEN!"
Ryan Merten
There are elements to this movie that are very pretty. Many of the visuals are stunning, excellently deep textures throughout. The characters by and large good but their movements can be very strange at times.The real problem is the murkiness of the story. A narrator would have been an excellent improvement. Without an internal monologue or narration the cat seems to be crazier than you would guess. The setting is perplexing with random elements from Spanish, Middle Eastern, and French styling with no clear rhyme or reason. Also for no clear reason a school of ghost fish come to life near the end. yep.The voice acting was also painful. Namely Shatner's cat voice is something to truly despise. The monkey is Jamaican? Most disappointingly is that they didn't get a quality singer for the princess.This last point sticks out because there was a lot of music in this movie. It has a charming American Indie vibe including stripped down percussion and on occasion a ukulele. But her voice fails to be either traditional or suitably indie.Also the Ogre is inexorably dumb and useless as a villain.
Mackenzie Wadsworth
WARNING: This is not the real Puss n Boots. Admittedly, that seems like an obvious statement, but for this reviewer (and the unfortunate souls that watched it with her) it was not immediately apparent. We made our way to the local Redbox to grab a movie we thought everyone would like. Then we spotted Puss n Boots. Perfect! The reviews had been surprisingly positive and we thought it looked fun. So we went home, popped in the movie, and settled in for some animated entertainment. After bizarre previews and a random introduction by William Shatner, we got to the actual film. Strange, but okay. Then it started. The first thing we noticed was the terrible graphics. I said they looked like something from a Nickelodeon children's show; my brother said he had seen better quality on his video games. The characters were horrendous, the dubbing was a failure ... It wasn't until Puss showed up in pink boots that we finally realized something was terribly wrong. Turns out, we rented the wrong movie. Cleverly disguised as the Antonio Banderas version was truly awful thing that's not worthy of being called a film. It's poop on a reel. And you'd need a magnifying glass to read Redbox's fine print. Renter beware.
