They Call Him Cemetery

1971
6.1| 1h34m| en
Details

John and George McIntire are a couple of naive brothers who travel to a lawless western town to see their father. The bumbling siblings get themselves into big trouble after they beat up a member of a gang of extortionists. Fortunately, a mysterious roving gunfighter decides to help the guys out of their jam.

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Reviews

Konterr Brilliant and touching
Yash Wade Close shines in drama with strong language, adult themes.
Paynbob It’s fine. It's literally the definition of a fine movie. You’ve seen it before, you know every beat and outcome before the characters even do. Only question is how much escapism you’re looking for.
Fulke Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.
Bezenby This one's a keeper! Mega-stylish fun from Guiliano Carnimeo, who would also give us The Case of the Bloody Iris, one of the best gialli around. This time he's got two (camp) brothers heading from the East back to their dad's ranch, who's having trouble with an extortion racket. The brothers are absolutely crap at everything, so luckily for them dark stranger Ace (Gianni Garko) comes to their aid. Unluckily for them, the bad guys have hired William Berger to kill them. Garko shows the two fops how to mete out justice in the Wild West, while Berger sits around moodily waiting to pop a cap in their behinds. He's got this little collapsible whiskey cup, that, when folded up and put away, is a signal that someone nearby is going to shortly resemble a colander. Berger and Garko have a mutual respect for each other which is played rather nicely through the film. There's also an element of mystery in the film as we don't know who runs the extortion racket.The director of photography here is Stelvio Massi (of 'Italian gangster movies' fame), and it is uniformly excellent. There's plenty of gunfights here, a bit of slapstick, and your usual big fight at the end. If you can get over some of the broad comedy (a trend in these flicks) you'll have a good time here.
FightingWesterner Two fancy-pants brothers return west after years of eastern schooling and almost immediately anger the local gang of murderous extortionists. However, the boys have an ace up their sleeves in the form of ultra-cool gunslinger Gianni Garko, a mystery man with a debt to pay.After the first several minutes of pretty silly slapstick, things get good, with lots of amusing touches and a neat performance by Garko, dubbed into English by an actor sounding like he's doing an impersonation of Clint Eastwood!Whenever Garko disappears too long though, the movie begins to suffer. Still, it's worth recommending for spaghetti western fans who've already seen everything.I've noticed that other viewers seem to overlook the connection between the brothers and the gunfighter, why he's protecting them. It's actually explained quite early on, in pretty certain terms.
MartinHafer Before I review the film, I want to say a bit about the DVD that has both this film and another so-called 'spaghetti Western' ("Il Prezzo del Potere"). The picture quality is very poor and the DVD has no captions--just really bad quality dubbing. While in some films in the genre the dubbing was excellent (such as in the Clint Eastwood films), this one is not particularly good. As for the picture, it's scratchy and dark--so dark in one important scene that you have no idea what is happening. It is obviously a second-rate (or possibly third-rate) packaging of the film. You can't blame the film makers for this. In its original form it must have been a much better film.The film begins with two brothers coming to the West to see their father. Apparently, they have been educated back East and have no idea of the life on the range. To call them ignorant is charitable--they are idiots. When they stand up to a representative of a group of extortionists who are threatening their father's ranch, they beat him (the extortionist--not the father) up...and have no idea that the gang will naturally come looking for them. They also naively assume the law will simply arrest the gang and can take care of the problem non-violently. Can anyone be THAT stupid in a film of this genre??!! Fortunately, a man in black ('Cemetery') stumbles upon them and takes pity on them--teaching them how to use a gun and not be a couple ignorant rubes! In many ways, this man in black is similar to characters played by men such as Lee Van Cleef in Westerns--a decent and inexplicable guy and also someone you don't want to irritate! In addition, he has an acquaintance who is also equally bad whose loyalty to his boss seems a bit suspect at times--leading to an interesting showdown between the two master gunfighters near the end.While there were approximately 68 bazillion Italian Westerns made during this era (give or take three), what sets this one apart a bit is that it doesn't take itself so seriously. Sure, it has all the requisite killing, the bad guys and the scary bad hero, but it manages to make you laugh occasionally (such as the swimming scene as well as when one guy's mustache ended up looking like Charlie Chaplin's--thanks to some fancy shooting). While certainly not in the same league as the Sergio Leone films, this is very good and worth seeing--plus I doubt it was intended to be in the same league. Still, this one is more a very good time-passer with a bit more to offer--even if some of the humor is a bit broad (such as the fight scene with the ranchers).Overall, the film loses a couple points for the dubbing and print quality and earns an overall score of 6. In its original form, no doubt it would be a bit higher.
tedg The curse of following a formula is that you will necessarily be compared to the best examples of that formula. And the best of this pocket of movies is the Leone stuff. We've actually, I think, adjusted our definitions of camp and happy excess to suit those, because of a couple elements that appeal: the musical riffs, the Eastwood grin.This one has a stylized west, absolutely no females in any frame. Good, bad and samurai. As with the Leone/samurai model, all the plot devices revolve around the noble rules of "the guild" of gunfighters for hire. All the humor is based on coolness associated with lethality. For those of us that like this sort of thing, the ultimate trip starts with Kurosawa, runs through Leone's copy and ends with Walter Hill's "Last Man Standing.So this is a sort of waste of time, is less of everything that is defined elsewhere. But if you stumble on this, pay attention to the rule of twos. Its a simple way for writers to create superficial folds after the manner of Tolstoy.Here you have two gunslingers, two bad guys, two factions in the good guys (the breeders), two comic sons, two more comic Mexican servants of the sons. If there were real writing going on, you'd see reflections from one pair to the other, tensions between pairs reflected in certain pairs and so on.Ted's Evaluation -- 1 of 3: You can find something better to do with this part of your life.