Brightlyme i know i wasted 90 mins of my life.

Lollivan It's the kind of movie you'll want to see a second time with someone who hasn't seen it yet, to remember what it was like to watch it for the first time.

Teddie Blake The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

Gary The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

James In the rather play-like "You Will Meet a Tall, Dark Stranger", writer-director Woody Allen transfers to the for-him rather unusual territory of London, though American accents are not entirely absent as Josh Brolin takes a central role, alongside Brits and Europeans Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Naomi Watts and Gemma Jones. With such a cast, we have an expectation of more-than-adequate acting, but - while this aspect is certainly good enough - the thespian skills do not manifest themselves too overtly, and even the settings - though pleasant-ish - are far from touristy, and certainly not the best London can offer. Equally, cast and locations alike are somehow familiar, even comfortable-looking in their way, and thus serve as the perfect background for a storyline that sees these well-known famous faces made to jump through hoops by Allen, in the interests of his pithy and at-times profound storyline. Ultimately, the characters portrayed here, more or less connected with each other as they are, all seem willing to risk a very great deal (exposing themselves to chaos and discomfiture and deeper unhappiness), by taking drastic action in response to the actually-minor and/or inevitable-with-age troubles they find themselves landed with. Ironically, and perhaps annoyingly, the film ends before we fully witness our anti-heroes getting their just desserts for having taken a sledgehammer to crack a nut; but in the meantime, a large amount of wit and wickedness is seen to have gone into crafting the ideas that the cast members pursue in the naive view that they will find themselves in a better place, lifewise. Since all would probably have fared better had they been more accepting of what life chose to dish out to them, the somewhat downbeat message would seem to be that, in our lives most likely lived out with somebody or other we are bound to come across a number of problems, including relative incompatibility, lack of the resources we longed for and mostly expected to get our hands on one day, and simple ennui.And that's just how it is...And maybe we should just accept that...Inevitably, given the above scenario, none of the characters are ones we can actually warm to - somehow they are just too self-centred and selfish, and would-be Machiavellian. That really leaves us with a kind of morality play laced with a certain number of delicious ironies, and this is (even somewhat tangibly to the more-attunded viewer) a hyper-traditional scenario pretty much as old as public entertainment itself. Interesting in that respect that several themes are returned to by Allen in later films, not least (the far-more visually attractive) "Cafe Society" of 2016. It might thus be argued that the latter film outdoes this one. However, the apparent blandness of setting of "You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger" can be a virtue, while the mostly-British accents are important in reminding us that Woody Allen's take on human reality holds good away from New York or other US locales - a message worth taking on board, perhaps.

moonspinner55 Various romances working their way through the proverbial peaks and valleys of love because, as narrator Zak Orth so pithily points out for us, "sometimes the illusions work better than the medicine." Woody Allen drama-lite shot in and around London concerns a young married couple (Josh Brolin and Naomi Watts) finding their bickering-from-room-to-room union on the brink of collapse after her parents announce their split; Brolin, a struggling writer, becomes smitten with the attractive woman in the apartment across the way, while gallery worker Watts flirts with her boss. Watts' father (Anthony Hopkins) takes up with a much younger woman (a former prostitute who may not have changed her ways) while her mother (Gemma Jones) becomes attracted to a book-seller still in love with his deceased wife. This is one of Allen's least-compelling group of characters. It isn't enough that Hopkins is humiliated by having to gulp Viagra and shell out all his money to keep his prostie-wife happy, he's further humiliated by the prospect of raising a child that isn't his (the pair are also misfits in each other's lifestyle, which is straight out of the older man/younger woman manual). Meanwhile, Brolin (looking like Kris Kristofferson in his youth) lurches through his scenes without expression, and seems incapable of reading a book much less writing one. It's a curiously indifferent enterprise, as if Allen's heart wasn't in it and his unamused cast just wanted to get through it. *1/2 from ****

msdsc This movie seamlessly portrays a lot of what is Woody Allen: His takes on relationships; his, seeming, fascination with how people can be taken in by the occult; his, usually sinister, plot twists – how his relationships usually devolve into negative territory; and the lack of real malice in – the innocence of – his characters.And, in this movie, the acting – and, presumably, the directing which precipitated it – is flawlessly executed. (Though, I must say that I was a little disappointed in Philip Glenister's performance. I don't think he could convincingly shed his usual visceral nature, to effect the required innocence of an Allen character.) Even though I wanted to, and expected to, not believe some of the characters – Josh Brolin, as Sally's husband, Roy, comes to mind – I wasn't able to do it. Woody's actually expanded his usual milieu by including two ingénues – Naomi Watts, as Sally, and Freida Pinto, as Dia – instead of the usual one. And, one could argue that there were two minor ones, as well: Lucy Punch, as Charmaine, and Anna Friel, as Iris. All were convincing, though Watts was particularly good – and, quite stunning. Gemma Jones, as the pathetic mother, Helena, stood out for a particularly brilliant performance.The juxtaposition of the different stages of relationships was also genius. There was the incipient, represented by the engagement of Dia and Alan (Neil Jackson); the mid-stream, represented by the marriage of Sally and Roy; and the past, represented by the broken marriage of Alfie (Anthony Hopkins) and Helena. And, Allen's casting was superb in the respect that they all looked exactly right for the parts – Hopkins, as the aging, nay, old, man with the mid- life crisis, is the apotheosis.The age disparity in the relationship between Alfie and Charmaine, and the inherent problems with that – e.g. Alfie needing to take Viagra to keep up with Charmaine – brought to mind Woody's actual situation in life with his much younger wife.My one qualm was the ending: I felt like more should have been resolved. However, Allen, like the Shakespeare he paraphrases at the beginning – "Life was full of sound and fury, and in the end signified nothing." – and mirrors at the end – "It's time to close the book on our little tale of sound and fury signifying nothing." – says that life just goes on.

Amy Adler In London, poor Helena (Gemma Jones) has been jilted by her husband of 40 years, Alfie (Anthony Hopkins). What's it all about Alfie, Helena wants to know! Turth is, Alf had a bit of a late mid-life crisis, complete with a fast new car, body building and visits to a tanning salon. In tears, Helena goes to see a local seer, who predicts a better future for her. At the same time, Alf goes after a looker of a hooker, Charmaine (Lucy Punch), paying her to be his exclusive galpal. Moving on, Alfie's and Helena's daughter Sally (Naomi Watts) is hitting some rough spots in her marriage to writer Roy (Josh Brolin). Although Roy has a medical degree, he insists on a career as an author but, since his first book took off, he's had nothing but failures hence forth. This obligates Sally to go to work, even though she longs for a child. With a background in art, Sal finds work at a gallery run by the suave, handsome Greg (Antonio Banderas). Since she proves to be an invaluable assistant, Greg is quite pleased AND does happen to mention on occasion that his marriage is unfulfilling. Huh. Roy, too, has curveballs thrown in his direction, when a lovely guitar player, Dia (Frieda Pinto) is visible in an apartment the writer can see from his own abode. On top of that, Roy reads the manuscript of a fellow poker player and realizes the book is a winner, far better than his own current project. Thus, when the pokerpal is in a car wreck and goes into a coma, with little hope of recovery, can Roy do the unthinkable and filch the book? Dear Woody, as I have often stated, one of your biggest admirers lives in Toledo, Ohio, of all places. As such, this movie, though not your loftiest film, is bursting with small pleasures and smiles. First, the cast is terrific, each and every one of them. Punch, especially, is very funny, buying fur coats while Hopkins' bank account gets greatly reduced. As can be expected, the London setting is lovely while the costume designer should get a bouquet of roses, everyone looks fantastic! As stated, little things mean a lot in Allen's world, so a moment where Roy, in Dia's apartment, looks back and is captivated by Sally in the apartment NOW across the way is very special. Ditto to the marvelous guitar pieces played throughout the movie, too. Unique, too, is the script and direction, quite fine, that Allen offers here, after making film after film after film. Therefore, if you are a fan, you must get your hands on this one, too. Likewise, if its your first Allen film, you will just be opening the jewel box of his cinematic efforts and you should seek out the rest.