Christopher T. Chase
Congratulations, VH1. In your race to the bottom with Fox, MTV, Reality Show Channel and everyone else to pander to the lowest common denominator with shows like ROCK OF LOVE, FLAVOR OF LOVE and I LOVE NEW YORK, you managed to win hands down with this 'gem' of a competition. At this point, I can see why Jerry Springer threw up his hands (AND his lunch) and decided to become the full-time host of AMERICA'S GOT TALENT. How could he possibly compete with this drain sludge?If it were possible for any woman to "turn" lesbian, boy, would this show make a good PSA to list all the reasons why it wouldn't be such a bad thing. (Hear that, Religious Right? There's something a lot worse than 'the gay agenda', and that's shows like THIS!) It's even an insult to TOOLS, which are mostly useful instruments one can use to build and repair things. If you think any building and repairing actually goes on here, you're dreaming.Presented in the guise of being a "tough-love boot camp" for maturity-deprived man-boys, TOOL ACADEMY is supposedly the heart-warming story of a group of desperate women who have nominated their worthless boyfriends to participate in this eight-week fiasco to change them of their douchey, nasty, womanizing, 'ghetto' ways, and turn them into the "Prince Charmings" they've always known were hidden beneath the facades, (yeah, and Adolf Hitler could be changed into Gandhi in five easy steps, too, right?) How touching, noble and naive of them. And how much more evident is it that these girls have no sense of self-esteem, self-worth or pride of any kind, that they'd bend over backwards to keep these serial cheaters, rageaholics and redneck neanderthals in their lives? They haven't been dating guys with some issues, they've been dating cartoon characters, (I mean, c'mon! Two of these walking hard-ons even nicknamed themselves "MATSUFLEX" and "MEGA (Makes Every Girl Amorous)". WHO does that???)Granted, all of the guys are in their twenties and they are on a reality show, so I REALLY hope that what they were doing was putting on an act. Because if not...the future of our country is in serious trouble if these are the people we're entrusting it to. Yes, it would've been so much easier for the girls to simply leave these braying asses and find some decent guys. But this is what happens when you give people the platform of a TV show to air all their dirty laundry...and promise $100,000 dollars to the couple that can manage to come off as the 'least douchey' at the end. Be still my heart. Well, I guess the only people who should feel worse about this show than the ones who participated in it, are the ones who actually watched it, even for a few episodes (present company included.) I wonder what it says about all of us, that there probably will be a second season?
velcrohead
Finally, we have a reality show that delivers this gem of a message: If you're dating a useless loser jerk, DON'T break up with him! YOU CAN CHANGE HIM! Yeah. That's great advice for all the self-esteem-challenged young ladies out there.Is your guy sleeping around with other women? Does he forget random important things, like for instance your birthday or the fact that you even exist?Does he embarrass you in front of everyone you know?Does the thought of being with him for the rest of your life the way he is horrify you?Then don't do the smart thing, the thing every other rational human would do, which is to drop him like a bad habit. Stay with him! If you love on him enough, he will change! No matter how deeply ingrained his character traits are in his very DNA! You'll never find another fish in the sea! CHANGE HIM!As for the cast, well...the guys are all douchey toolbags, and the girls are all completely devoid of brains and character. But it makes for great TV, doesn't it?
